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      A weird heartache or heartbreak?

     


SO i was put on probation about a year ago for doing something stupid (ive learned from my mistakes, and have moved on) im going to school and work. I hadent had a boyfriend in a few months and i got assigned to a probation officer who i see twice a month. Well i noticed this guy when i walked in and my heart stopped. he was amazing. his looks, smile, attitude, and the way he dressed was everything i had looked for in a man. I sat next to him in the waiting room and by the way he talked with his friends i couldnt imagine what he had been put on probation for. he seemed so nice, kind, gentle. i got all nervous and shaky whenever he would look over at me and i couldnt believe i was lusting so hard over somebody i didnt even meet!... i wanted to talk to him but didnt have the courage too,and he had been on my mind once i left. I went in again looking my best to maybe try and get some attention, only this time, he wasnt there. i was let down. i started to feel guilty for not approaching him to make small talk. I didnt see him for over 3 months and i began talking to a guy that i dated soon after. I was extreamly happy with my boyfriend and nothing could take him away from me. Untill that day.i went in again and there he was. 4 months later. looking better than ever. i couldnt move. i got shaky, and nervous again, and my heart was beating faster than ever before. i wanted to go up to him so badly. But what was i doing, i had a boyfriend who i loved. but i couldnt help looking at him and daydreaming of what could be. i overheard his friend talking to him and calling him by his name.this made him 10xs cuter now that i knew what his name was. god was he adorable. i got up, but once he locked eyes with me i got weak, scared, and chickened out and just went to the water fountain for a drink. once i sat back down, he got called into the office. the officer called him by his last name. i now knew his name and had figured out that one of my friends had known him!, turns out, he has a girlfriend. so much for my happy ending, total heartahce.heartbreak. im still with my boyfriend, but the lust for this man comes back every time i see him....*sigh*

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