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      Replacing the love


I remember as a young girl my first kiss. It was so sweet and innocent. The guy was not perfect but he had his good qualities. It's as if God made him specially for me. I wish I could have loved again the same way, but things change. I grew with different people, and it made me change the way I talk, and the way I act. I went through high school without a special someone. I wish I had someone by my side to help me through my hard times. I dated but no one really made me complete. I looked around I searched around for the perfect guy. I then realised there is not one. Maybe I matured or maybe I gave up. I turned to my friends and asked them for advice. They thought they helped but in fact they made it worse.

I went out with an older man. I was 18 turning 19, and he was 28 or 29. I knew him but not a lot. I wanted to give him a chance and get to know him. He was the bad combination of all guys added together. I thought he was mature and he would teach me the good things about life. He gave me a wake-up call and made me realise he is not the one for me. He lied to me and told me so many lies in one day. He also was so into himself I guess I blocked his good looks. He had a child 12 years old I found that out recently. I thank God I didn't have sex with him. I thank God that I opened my eyes in time. I went home that night, and I knew I would never talk to him again ever!!! I woke up the next morning asking myself what was wrong with me. I was crying like crazy and just really emotional. I started to wonder why I was crying. The reason I was crying was because he was about 11 years older and he treated me wrong he only wanted sex and I just wanted to cuddle and hug. I really needed that but he wasn't man enough for me.

I called an old boy friend of mine and told him what had happen and he really made me feel better. He gave me a big hug and he told me everything will be okay. On top of everything my step-father was saying that he loves me passionately. I could not deal with anything by myself and he just made me feel really good!

Months later we started to go back out and take things slow. He never disrespected me. He never rushed me into anything he was just the sweet guy that I was looking for and he is the guy that made me feel complete. The reason I left him was because I thought he treated me like a baby but really he was just replacing the love that I was missing!


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