From Love to Heartache
This story begins like most other love stories, with a boy and a girl. Back several years ago when they were both still in high school and first met the boy, who we will cal John, had a good friend. This friend was dating a girl, who will be known as Jane. John and Jane had never met, never seen each other, and only knew of each other because of going to the same school. And this is where the story begins.
One day in school John was deciding what classes to take for the next semester of school. On a whim he choose a class with the home-ec teacher. This just so happened to be the same class that Jane was in. After a short while the class was going to start and they discovered they were in class together. Now John was never someone to believe in love at first sight and even after seeing Jane he still didnít believe that (though he was about as close as you could get). However, upon seeing her he knew that she was absolutely the most beautiful girl he would ever lay eyes on. Instantly he grew jealous of his friend and thought that she deserved so much better than him. Not himself of course, he knew he was nothing special and would never stand a chance with a girl like her. But that wouldnít stop him from wishing he could be with her.
In class John and Jane were introduced by mutual friends, but didnít ever talk much. All he did was stare when she wasnít looking and resent his friend for having a girl like that while he himself was single and believed he would be for a very long time to come. He never had any hope of being with her himself, he knew that she was much better than any girl he could ever dream of being with. But that wouldnít stop him from dreaming, from praying and wishing that in some unbelievable way that they could end up together.
Over the course of the next semester of school they occasionally talked, had playful school interactions (one day John and his friends went so far as to throw paper into Jane and her friends shirts) but that was all their relationship ever extended to. He still wished everyday that a guy like him could have a girl like that. He still stared at her every chance she got, basking in the beautiful angel he saw before him everyday. Being teased by how perfect she was while never being able to get close to her. That class was soon to be over and they would go their separate ways.
Awhile later after the class was over and they had been out of contact for awhile somehow they randomly started talking. By that time she was single as he was, and he had a stronger desire than ever to have her to himself. They talked quite often, limited by her parents refusal to let her have more text messages and how she would have to message other people other than him. But he thought that he was nothing more than her friend, but he had set in his mind that if that was all he could be then he would be the best possible friend to her that anyone ever could be.
She was an active girl, skinny, attractive, loved sports, and spent much of her time outside. She was part of the cross country team, and one day ne day he decided that he would go watch her run. The problem was that her meet was a couple hours away, and he had to not only drive all the way there, but after his sports practice no less. He decided that it would be worth the drive just to see her. So after finishing his practice, and a very long drive he got there just as she was finishing running. After she was done he was standing around with her friends and she came up. He was so nervous he started sweating. That day he didnít say a single word to her. He just stood around nervous, glancing at her every chance he could, but too scared to say anything to her. This was to happen on more than one occasion.
After awhile they stopped talking again. She got back with the other guy she was with before. He still wished to have a girl like that and still thought that she was one of the most special girls he had ever known. But he again believed that he could never have a girl like her and that she was the type of person who was way better than him.
Then came prom. His senior year, her junior. He went with some underclassmen, who he hardly knew and pretty as she was, she was nothing compared to Jane and he still wished he could be with her instead. Jane ended up going with they guy she had been dating on and off for the past couple years. Oddly enough, John, his date, Jane, and her date, ended up going out to eat together. He still stared at her even with his date right next to him, being extra careful not to be noticed. All he could think of was how beautiful she was and how lucky his friend was to be with her there. Again the jealous filled him all the way up. The night turned out horrible for him, his date was only there with him to go to prom, and really had no intention of spending any time with him there even.
Then shortly after prom John and Jane started talking again, both single, and both looking for someone special in their lives. As they talked late into the nights and every day whenever they could he started to realize that it was more than your high school crush he had on her. He found himself staying up all night thinking of her. Wishing that he could still be talking to her. All he could do was want her for himself, want to hold her close, to see her smile. His desire for her grew to unbelievable proportions. She was always on his mind, standing there just out of reach. She was in his life, but she wasnít someone he could be more than friends with.
Then the unimaginable happened. They started making plans to get together. The first thing they did was go to a movie with a childhood friend of both of theirs. It was awkward for him at first. He was scared she would be bored, scared she would find something repulsive about him and want to stop being friends, scared that anything could happen and he would lose as the chance to be in her life in any way. But he settled down after seeing that she was actually enjoying herself as was he. He had the time of his life, despite having the extra person there. He couldnít yet tell if there were any mutual feelings or if she was only with him as a pity date or just for something to do. He thought of that night over and over and over in his head. Savoring every moment of it. Even if she didnít like him he still had that one night where he went on a date with the girl of his dreams and no matter what that could never be taken away from him.
Soon after that they made plans again. They went with her family to a 4th of July fireworks show. That day he drove her there in his new car (he thought that was the reason she started hanging out with him.) They drove all the way to a different state. After spending most of the day together there they went and met her extended family. He felt almost as nervous as when he went to her cross country meets. He didnít know what they would think of him and believed that if they didnít like him than any chance he had of being with her would be out of the question completely. After a couple awkward hours of sitting there wondering what to do they finally left to go watch the fireworks. He had the bright idea of driving all the way back to his hometown to go watch them there so they could be together afterwards for awhile.
They stopped at a store on the way back to get a movie. He chose the movie The Notebook. He figured that would be a good movie to get the idea across to her that he has strong feelings for her. Little did he know that they would never finish the movie that night. After returning home and starting watching the movie they got close, he put his arm around her. He couldnít believe what was happening. That was more than he had ever hoped for. Shortly after she said that she had to leave at a certain time and didnít want to. He didnít want her to leave, he wished for that night to last forever.
After a little more of the movie he decided, it was now or never that he was going to show her what he really felt. He looked her in the eyes, the most beautiful brown eyes you could ever imaging, leaned in and gave her a kiss. He was in heavan. It was more perfect than anything ever imagined. The softness of her lips, the feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, everything was perfect and he would remember that moment for the rest of his life. That was the best night of his life. They kept kissing and making out until she finally had to leave after begging her parents to stay longer and getting an extension on the time once or twice.
It was a week later that she had plans to go tubing down the river with her friends then hang out with them afterwards. It didnít take much talking to get her to come over to his place instead after she was done tubing. She was afraid to go over to his place after because of how she smelled. She never did understand that he never cared if she had makeup on or if she dressed up or how she smelled. All he wanted to do was to be with her. He was already addicted to her, completely infatuated with everything about her. She was something he could no longer live without, a part of him that if she left, would leave a hole in his heart.
After she came over she was still all wet from tubing and had the smell of being in the river. He thought it was cute how she just came over right away instead of taking time to clean up. They quickly went to the bedroom and started cuddling in bed. His mind was racing at 100mph. He didnít know what to do, should he kiss her, should he just talk to her, should he put a movie on, he didnít know. All he knew was that he wanted everyday to be like that exact moment. Prior to her coming over he told her that he had something to ask her and she needed to tell him to ask her or he wouldnít. He was planning on asking her to be his official girlfriend but was too scared like usual to just come out and ask. So when she eventually asked him what he wanted to ask her he froze up. He couldnít think, couldnít form a word let alone a sentence. He had feared rejection all his life as was so scared that it would happened again. But he decided that for the chance to be with her it was worth facing his worst fear. So he took a deep breath, looked her in they eyes and asked her to be his girlfriend. He was answered with the cutest smile, and her telling him yes. He had to do everything he could to stop himself from crying at that moment. His world was perfect. The unimaginable that he prayed for since he first met her just happened. He finally had the most perfect, beautiful, funny, smart, completely perfect in every way girl that he had never thought would be possible.
From then on she was all that was on his mind. Every day, every night, at work, at home, no matter what he would only think of her. He was obsessed, she was an angel, his angel, his single perfection that he has ever had in his life. He was happier than he had ever felt and everything was just as he wanted it to be.
They hung out, went on dates, talked all the time. He even gave her a secret cell phone so they could talk at nights because her parents didnít let her use her phone at nights. He spent every second just waiting for the next time he could see her, the next time he could hear her voice. All he wanted was to spend every moment he could living in this dream world that she had created for him. She would even come spend the night when his parents were out of town whenever she could.
He knew almost right away that she was a girl who he could fall in love with. And soon enough he was head over heels in love with everything about her. And then came the realization that he would have to tell her eventually and hope that she would feel the same, if not at lease avoid scaring her away from him. One night he decided that he wanted her to know, she needed to know how he felt about her. So after she came over to his house and spent some time there he said to himself this is the night. As he was walking her out late at night to her car he knew it had to be then. It was a perfect night, stars in the sky, the perfect temperature, and a beautiful girl in hand. He found that just like asking her out this was one of the hardest thing he would ever do. He had her stop in the middle of the yard and looked in her eyes. Those same beautiful brown eyes that he loved looking at with the same look in them as when he had asked her out. Nervously he told her he had to tell her something. And with all of he will power he uttered the words ďI love you.Ē Quietly, hardly above a whisper. Then he looked at her and was once again greeted by the same cute smile as before. And then he was returned with the best thing since becoming her boyfriend. She told him that she loved him back. He was ecstatic. Feeling inside him welled up in proportions that he had never experienced before. He wanted to scream from the top of the highest place in the world that he loved Jane and she loved him.
They had a wonderful several months together. Petty fights every now and then. Jealousy from her being the flirty kind of girl and him being the non trusting sort of guy. Deep down he did trust her, but he was constantly scared that a girl as good as her could easily find someone better than him and wouldnít hesitate to leave him. And he felt that way throughout the entire relationship with her. She always seemed like the kind of girl who was too perfect for him and everyday he felt a huge relief at the end of the day when she hadnít run off with some better guy.
Then the relationship started heading down hill. Stupid fights started happening all the time over pointless things. Both would blame each other, he would always blame himself too but could never admit to it. Just over one month before his birthday, a couple months short of their year anniversary, she got fed up with the fights. She was on the bus ride home from her senior trip and she finally broke loose on him. She ended his dream world and killed his hopes of being with her right there. He was devastated. He would cry every night, hardly ate for weeks, couldnít sleep no matter what.
They didnít talk for a couple weeks, then after talking again he found out shortly after she went and did one of the things she promised him she never would. Again he was even more heart broken. But somehow through everything he still only wanted to see her smile, still wished to be with her again, still wanted to hold her close like he had so many times before. He dedicated himself to getting her back. And somehow after weeks of trying he was able to become her boyfriend again. After awhile he even got her to tell him that she loved him again. He felt that this time around things would go perfect. They had their fights out of the way and now was smooth sailing.
Things went great for awhile, they moved down to college living right next to each other, she would spend time with him most every night. Things were great for him. They would go to movies, go out to eat, order pizza. Lay in bed watching movies. He even started to like her stupid girly tv shows.
Then winter came and he couldnít find a job due to certain circumstances. His car also got totaled so he had no way to get anywhere. No money and no going anywhere put a strain on the relationship. He could no longer take her out to dinner, no longer drive home with her to visit their parents. Everything was falling apart. He hoped that their love for each other would pull them through this difficult time. They became stuck in routine. Just boring day after day of the same. He didnít get quite so tired of it because he still had her and that was all that he wanted. She however needed more in her life. She couldnít just be stuck in that boring lifestyle. So she found another guy who she started to like and after a fight over him they took a break. In those short couple days she fell for him and things were never the same. They got back together after a short break for one day but that was destined to fail. She went and cheated on him that night and he was more devastated than what he possibly thought could happen. It was as if his entire world had just crashed around him. He was being suffocated from the inside and could not stop it no matter what. They were over and not on good terms. He hated her from the very core of his being but still wanted to be with her. He wanted her to suffer for what she did but also wanted to hold her close to him. It was as if a tornado was ripping his insides apart and half were going tword her and half away.
After that night he didnít sleep for days, didnít eat for weeks, refused to do anything other than work and sit in his room. Later he even found out she had cheated on him one other time several months before and was afraid to tell him. This sealed the deal, he wanted revenge on her for what she did to him. He hated her with every fibre of his being. He wanted to drag her down into this hell of an existence that she put him into. So he made plans to bring that dream to reality. But every time he wanted to act on the plan something inside him stopped him. He couldnít bring himself to hurt the girl he had once cared so much about. Remembering her smiling face and the idea of wiping that completely off of her was more than he could bear. He even went so far as to send threats to her believing that if he did that then he would have the courage to act out on what he said. That plan too failed. Then he realized that despite all that happened, despite her becoming the one kind of girl who he hated, he still cared deeply for her. The was something about her that, even after all they wen through, made her more special to him than anyone else. He decided to just let things go and enjoy the memories he had with her.
All this time he constantly thought of her. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, just everything. She was always on his mind. Every single night he would dream of her. Dream of the old days, dream of the future, dream of her being with him again. She was in his dream every single night and he could never change that. He was still obsessed.
After a couple months he was finally moving on. Not thinking of her quite so much. Able to look at other girls and not compare them to her. He was finding comfort in friends that were there for him and supported him through the hard times. Then one thing he never expected to happen did. He got one single message from her. She told him that she missed him. All of his feelings for her jumped back into him. He missed her so much it hurt. But he was too scared and didnít know if it was real or not. Was it somebody else? Was she drunk? Was it meant for someone else? He had to ask. And he got an answer. She was drunk, but she also said she meant it. After that he didnít know what to think. What to do. All he knew is that the girl who for the longest time didnít ever seem like she missed him, never said she wanted to seem him, even while together had finally told him that she missed him and meant it. He was confused as to what to do. He knew that he wanted her back. But he couldnít just go beg for her back. Not after everything that happened. So after thinking all day about what to do he finally decided. He knew what he wanted to do and what he had to do. He knew what could happen because of it but his feelings for her, love though it may not be, were still strong enough that his decision had been made.