Once had a man who loved me dearly, with all his heart capable of providing.
He wasnít well off but he would provide me with my material desires, he didnít always have the time but he will give me his entire spare. He would please and cheer me up in ways I didnít think possible. At times when I just vent to him about my dayís work during my break, by the time he comes to pick me up he would have brought me a big Kinder surprise egg to bring a smile upon my face. He would make me breakfast on bed, before he goes off to work he would make me lunch so I wonít be hungry, he would decorate the backyard with Christmas lights and gourmet dinner because I once jokingly told him that I saw such sweet behavior in the movies and he reacted out.
He was fool, despite everything he will do for me he would also take me in even if I told him straight to his face that I liked someone else.
I know deep in my heart I would not be able to find anyone else that could love me like he did, because he loved me it gave me strength and faith within myself, because he believed in me.
The list could go on for the things he provided for me, but somehow at the end of the day I was still not satisfied.
I wanted someone smart, logical, financially capable, more or less I no longer want to be full by just drinking water in a relationship. I wanted someone more particular.
Blinded by what I crave and have forgotten how I am already so blessed with what I have been offered.
I ended a 3 years relationship, believing I no longer love him.
Little did I know such action had changed my life 360 degree, allowing me to experience the grief of lost, the regret, and many wrong decisions made because of no sense of direction, and loneliness.
It has already been 2 years; I know he is well off with his new relationship and his life. But I on the other hand still recovering from the break up, sad to say even though now that I have a relationship, I am happy and his someone I seek for but I miss the romance part of love that my current relationship cannot offer or not even top the fool that once loved me with all his heart.
But in the end, even though I still tear at times digging back to the memories, and unable to fully let go because somehow part of me still want to hold onto the to the feeling of being loved by someone whole heartily. If I move on completely the feeling will fade, and I will forget what is like to be loved by thee. As much as all that is true, I know if I am given a second chance I will make the same decision, because I believe everything happens for a reason for better or for worse, if look at a bigger picture the decision made is better for both of us.
The past cannot be change, the future cannot be seek, but treasure and enjoy the moment of now as a gift, thatís why they call it ďpresentĒ.
Slowly learning to appreciate and enjoy what is given me and not be take everything for granted. I was spoiled by thee and now itís time to learn how to stand on my two own feet. One way or the other life still proceed and itís through every experiences we encounter that we become stronger, and that we understand ourselves better in the journey of life.