Mahirap mag mahal ng seminarista
After a long exchange of text messages, chatting and talks over the phone, Mer finally convinced Sum to meet.In one of the busy Malls here in the Metro Manila. Sum was skeptic. "What if Psycho sha? What if reypist? What if holdaper? What if member ng Ativan Gang? What if mainlab nanaman ako?!!? hayssst...ayoko na ata" This keeps on nagging her brain as slowly walk from Ortigas to Edsa to ride the MRT to Ayala. "Bahala na nga... Lord, ikaw na bahala ha..."
Mer on the otherhand was thinking of just the same thing. "what if hindi ako siputin?" But then, he thought, so what, Im going around anyway."
mer:*Ring ring*... san ka?
sum: Dito na ayala... pero nahihiya nako pakita sayo. wag na lang kaya.
mer: wag! Sayang, andito na din ako
sum: (kabado) ha, ganun ba? ngiiiii.. nahihiya talga ko, mukha na kse kong haggardness na nagkatawang lupa. haist... cge, mit kita sa Brownies
mer: Okay cge....
After 30 years
sum: *Ring* San ka na ba? (waiting at Brownies)
mer: dito sa likod mo...hehehe
sum: Ha?! eh pano yun eh wall ang nasa likod ko! Multo ka ba?!? waaaah! *lalo nang natakot*
HEHEHE... maling brownies pala napuntahan ni momer...=)
Finally they met. She saw her coming towards her flashing his ultra gorgeous smile....Sabi ni Sum, "OMG! sabi na eh... jujuju...bawal na mainlababoooooh!"
And they had their first date. Of course, Sum was a chatterbox and Mer was just there listening. Sum can not stop talking and Mer can not stop staring at her and listening to her. But time flies when you are having fun. Little did they knew, it was already time to leave.
Sum tried to prolong the moment and offered to have a coffee. But then, they both really have to go since they still have some responsibilities to attend to that day so they have just decided to ride the MRT together...
Siksikan sa MRT at napirat silang dalawa. Sa loob ng MRT...
mer: Beh! okay ka lang?!
sum: Ha!? Anung Beh ka jan?! Hindi mo ko baby ha...
mer: Beh! as in B... BUANG... feeling ka naman...hehehe
sum: ah ganun ba? ehehehe sorry *me araw ka din sakin..hehe*
As time went by, they had fun with their friendship. They had good laughs and good times together. They both thought that it was just a placid mutual friendship until Mer told Sum that he has to go back to school. To Tagaytay and that he does not know when he will come back... why? Because back then, he was a theologian.
Bang! Sum wanted to walk from SM North upto Monumento at that time. She wanted to think. She wanted to think why she was feeling different. She can not understand how she was feeling. Why in the world did she wanted to cry? Why in the world it feels like a huge part of her is slowly weakening? Why cannot she understand what is her feeling right now? She always wanted to have a priest friend to answer all her questions in life. And now that her closest friend is from a seminary, she must feel happy. But then again, why? WHY IS SHE FEELING THAT SOMETHING WITHIN HER WAS EXTINGUISHED? Bakit she is feeling nanghihinayang?!? It dawned on her...she fell in love with Mer.
"Sabi na bakla eh. Bawal na mainlababo... so much more yan, me vocation na yan! Lagot ka ke God! bubuka ang lupa! Tatamaan ka ng kidlaaat!"
Little did she knew that Mer is undergoing the same predicament. How can he be in love if he is bound to be the God of servant? Life is already written out for him and his destiny is there. Why meet such a person who would turn his world upside down when he is almost at the end of his journey?
Mer decided that he cannot live his life being untruthful to himself. So he told her, "I love you, but this does not mean you have to love me back. Just let me love you in silence. It will make me happy."
Sum did not quiet know what to say. Should she say what she really feel? Should she keep it? What will happen if she say it? What will happen if she had not? She is a girl who does not want to regret anything in her life. So she said it. But then she also admitted that she does not believe in fairy tales either. She will stick to the fact that she loves him but will do her best to let him go when the time comes that he had choose the life written out for him. They had be friends... until she could still can be friends with him and the hurt is not that much. But when the time comes that she has to let go, then she will.
They did not need to wait any longer for them to let each other go. Time came that Mer has to leave the country and stay away for three years in Germany to pursue his vocation. They cried that day... the day before and the day after. They have to let each other go and lead the life they had before they met each other. Though they promised to be friends still and to be in constant communication, they both knew deep inside that things will never be the same again.
He went away, she stayed. He lived his life as she lived hers. They remained good friends. She was praying for strength and enlightenment. She was praying for strength to accept the painful truth and enlightenment to see the goodness in what has transpired. She was praying everyday that may the will of God be done. She raised everything up to Him and let Him drive... "Jesus take the wheel.... drive us where we should be"
mer: *Ring.. ring* Beh?
sum: Baby mo ba ko? aahh, lam ko na.. Buang
mer: Me sasabihin ako...
sum: anu yun? me problema ka ba jan?
mer: Wala naman... gusto ko lang sana sabihin sayo na..*long pause*
sum: Na ano? Hilig mo talga mambitin...hehe
mer: Sunduin mo ko sa airport ha... uuwi nako sayo..