I'm sure everybody had their firsts, and others might have had their second taste of love. Me, I wasn't sure if I really tasted it, I might have had, but I was not allowed to chew it and swallow it, so it can really squeeze into my heart.
My friends often time warn me not to love so much. It's because they know that when I love, I give not just my heart but I give my all. I'm not afraid of commitment, just that they were afraid to ask, and when they finally do, I've already had enough. One time I suffered from this disease, one that can't easily be cured, a friend of mine, without a clue, became my guy's new girl, that friend of mine was so close to me, that she knows a lot of things running on my mind, she knows my biggest goal before, and that's to show him that I've changed. I can't blame him she's so pretty and can't blame her he's so fine, but why for months before she announced it, did I never have a sign? I am not against their happiness, I am not against them at all, but when they secretly had a "them", and she said she doesn't want to hurt me, the secret should've just remained a secret, until out of love they'll fall.
After months of crying I found someone else, at first I thought he would heal the wound and I thought he would make it vanish, but I realized he was just adding to the pain, he can't refuse his friends, when they ask him to meet some girls, so I just had to let go.
After some time my friend and my guy separated for a very stupid cause, my friend cried to me and asked for forgiveness and I forgave her.
Now I'm leaving them all behind to study somewhere else, but I am still hurt, wounded and in extremes still can't live like before... teary eyes... broken heart... dying soul...
I just hope that someday there'll be a man to really help me stand-up again.