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      My dreams are confusing me

     


A long time ago I learned to interpret my dreams to see what was in store for the future. But lately I have been lying awake a lot at night trying to analyze what I am seeing and Iím confused! I love my wife of fourteen years very much and I know I would not do anything to hurt her or my relationship with her. I cheated on one wife in my life, it tore me and my life I loved apart, I will never do that again! Lately my dreams have been filled with someone that I have also loved for a long time, my second wife. One that I loved so much that missing her has never stopped hurting. When we were together I was smothering her, I knew it and was smart enough to not try and fight it when we separated. I knew she needed to learn to grow and become the person she was meant to be. In my heart I never stopped believing that we were meant to be together and someday she would return. Now twenty some years later my dreams are filled with her and her daughter, not romantic or sexual dreams, just being there together as friendship that I miss so much from her. Dreams so real I wake up from them confused. In the mornings my emotions are so messed up I hide so no one can see the flood of tears that I canít seem to stop. Iím fifty-eight years old, not an emotional teenager in ďpuppy loveĒ but I canít stop the emotions from overwhelming me. Sometimes at places very inconvenient, like the isle of a store or driving down the road, things out of the blue just pop up and remind me. I love my wife very much and we have a very good marriage, but these dreams are spilling over into my waking thoughts and it is making life uncomfortable at times. I love them both so very much and I will not hurt the one I am with. I stay away from my second wife not telling her how I feel about her or what has been going on in my heart and dreams. We are in contact on ďFacebookĒ if I get a chance to do things of kindness for her if I can do them and no one would find out not wanting to get caught even though there is nothing wrong with helping someone I just donít want people to know itís me. She is divorced from her second husband and is raising her daughter on her own so sometimes she needs help with things like snow shoveling even though she donít ask for it. Since there is no way I could talk to anyone about this maybe writing this down will help me.

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