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      What does love have to do with it?


We met on Valentines Day, just three months ago.

I wasn't looking for anyone, nor was he. Turns out, we both were out on Valentines night with our own friends, when we came across each other's path. We hit it off right away.

Prior to meeting "Y" I had pretty much recovered from a previous three year relationship, in which my former boyfriend
was not only a womaniser, a cheater, but was also emotionally abusive and at times verbally abusive. At the time I met "Y", I was very happy with my life. Happy that I was no longer was in a volatile relationship and had so much to be thankful for.

So, I decided to date "Y". Just so you know, I'm never going to allow one man in my past cheat me out from ever loving anyone again. I know I deserve to be in love and be loved.

Since dating "Y" for the last three months, I found that I enjoyed being with him. I even started loving him. He was always good to me. He made me feel safe and adored. During this time, I've also gotten really close to his younger sister. She is always calling on me everyday.

Well, here's my real story. About six weeks ago, I started getting a gut feeling that he might be seeing someone else, or was talking to someone. I asked him, and he denied it.

During one conversation, he told me that he was planning to take a vacation. I didn't think anything of it, as he planned to go out of town for his birthday which is not until July.
(I went to Lake Tahoe for my birthday, so I didn't even question him).
A few weeks ago, his sister finally told me that another woman had been calling "Y" and that she even sent him a letter with her picture.

In her letter, she said I hope you don't change your mind about Las Vegas.
After I found out everything, I kept it to myself. Questioning how I should go about getting the truth from him... Hoping he'd come clean first. Since I pretty much went through this in the past with my ex-boyfriend, I just played it off, acting like I didn't know a thing. I started doing my own investigation.
Funny thing, "Y" knew all about my ex and about the cheating and the pain I went through as well, so I wanted to have all my information together before confronting him.

Well, last week, the opportunity presented itself. While talking on the phone, he told me that he didn't like talking on the phone. So I finally had to say something. I told him that I knew he had been talking to a woman "K", and that he was planning to meet her in Las Vegas.
He pretty much told me that she paid for his trip and that he still wanted to meet her, regardless if I knew.
You can only imagine the hurt and anger I felt at that point.

How could he be so selfish? I was the one he was having a relationship with. I was good to him and he knew how I felt about us. His original plan was to be with me, go to Las Vegas to be with this woman and then return to me? I don't think so.
Anyway, I was able to get the other woman's phone number. I figured since our relationship was damaged by his dishonesty, I'd make sure she knew.

Turns out, she is just as nice and sweet as I am. No wonder he wanted me in his life and be able to see her. We exchanged stories, and found out that he was lying to the both of us.

She had even left a message telling him that she was sorry she ever met him and that she didn't want to ever speak to him again. I on the other hand had to deal with him differently.

When he found out, he was mad as heck. Of course, he turned everything on me. Calling me names and saying how immature I was for contacting "K". He even said that I was the cause for all the mess.

Well, ladies, truth hurts! He was more mad because I caught him.

I even let him know that "K" and I had a wonderful discussion. I told him that had he been honest from day one, things would not had turned out so ugly. Keep in mind, this is a man that told me he's not a player, and was being faithful to me.
I guess I've cried too long in the past. I vowed that I would never be with a man that had no respect for me, nor any care. If a man wants to mess around, go right ahead, but you can't have me around like a toy or puppet.

I still believe in love, and although I'm hurt by this, I've learned a great deal... I'm stronger and wiser and have more self-respect for myself. Some lessons are meant to teach us, and to help us grow to become better people.

I truly believe that I've come a long way.
Hopefully, "Y" learned something from this too.

For those hurting from a break-up, you will get past it. We are all responsible for the amount of hurt we want to feel. Loving yourself should come first! Not a man.


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