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      Alankar You Fool


I am writing this because this is one of the few avenues I have to express my frustration and sadness at the state of nothingness we are in.

I have been your friend for eight years, through your ups and downs. I have seen and heard you at your worse, and still have been a shoulder to lean on, an ear to hear your troubles, and the person you can be yourself with.

I have not judged you, except when you got your ex pregnant, because she got the better of you. Stuff happens. Your son is a gift, but that does not mean chaining yourself to her out of love for your child. You are better then that.

The passion between us is palpable, incendiary. We click. It never became clearer then when I last saw you - the kiss you gave me as I left felt like a lock turning a key. It opened up the door on eight years of repressed emotion.

How can you make moves on me at my own wedding? Berate me for getting married and not telling you how I feel? Well I did once and got nothing. Now I did again, and still have nothing. You can only express things to me drunk, and I know it is the truth, I respond - then when you are sober it is like nothing happened, then awkwardness. Now silence, unless I contact you. Then when I come back to town, you want to see me.

This is the last time I will ever try; once this ache dulls, my moping ceases, and my heart heals, I am done. Be a man, change your life for the better, cut the drink, and seize the day. Take what you want and be happy - if it is still there.

Will you ever realize what you have taken for granted, the love you keep pushing away?

It will not be easy, but I would try everyday to make you happy. Love is work and I want to work at this with you.

I want to just live a good life with you and be happy.

You may open your eyes and find yourself alone, and old.


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