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      Love is a hard slow lesson

     



I had my precious son Sam at the early age of 14. My mother got angry, and said I was just a baby - having a baby, and begged me to use protection in the future, and please refrain from having babies anymore until I was old enough to even see that there was a life out there for me.


When I was 17 I had Jeremiah. I thought I had fulfilled my promise to my mother. she was angry, and threw me out.


I married jer's father but 6 months later we got a divorce.

At 19 I had twin girls, Sarah, and Karah. This was with Toby - my ex husband, Jer's father. We got back together. Another thing against my mother's wishes. I kept defying her in the name of love. But I know I never loved Toby.


I was an only child, and my mother had all these wishes for me. Toby and I were still together at 22 when I had my last child Emma. Then I had my tubes tied.


Later that year my mother died, and I also found out Toby had a pregnant 16 year old girlfriend, he was 24 at the time, I was 22, and my mother was gone. All she ever wanted was good from me. I was sad to loose her, and Toby. I thought our relationship had turned around. We had 4 lovely children together, and then my other son, Sam.


I was so sad. who would want a single mother of 5. especially one so young, with kids so young, and she couldn't even find another man.


I am 32 now, and I just got married. I met Eli one year ago. He has a daughter Sabrina 14 from a previous marriage. and he loves my kids. Emma is 10 now.
Sam is about to graduate high school... It's been a long hard road.


I have also just now forgiven myself for what I did to my mother. she was right.


But sometimes we learn slow.

-Jayne

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