Forgiven Souls, Unforgiven Love (The 1st Night)
Forgiven Souls, Unforgiven Love
The Beginning of a Love Story
Thursday, November 4th 2010...
Was supposed to be a goodbye, an end to something that would have never even existed. It was changed however into the beginning of the greatest love story ever told.
The night began like any other, friends sitting around a table in a dimly lit but still strangely loud bar. The kind of place where if you really want to hear what the other person is saying, you should lean in just a little. When those conditions exist between two people who more than likely are fated to be with each other, it can be the beginning of something amazing. The night progressed as any other night would for a majority of it. Boyfriends and girlfriends ignoring their significant others to have meaningless conversations with those around them. People singing songs to impress, telling jokes to earn the winks and nods of their tablemates. But amongst this group, two people felt more connected to each other than the other people did. Two people were about to start a journey that would forever change their lives, and quite possibly the definition of love as those around them perceived it. Two people that sat right next to each other for much of the evening, feeling a connection that at this point they hadn’t breathed life into by speaking about. The connection was there though, and they would find out very soon just how strong it was. A little kiss on the cheek would be noticed by just the two of them, but would send a shock of electricity around the world.
Now at this point, both of these people were in other relationships. Relationships that had began to die and fade in to a diluted version of what they had been. Relationships that were slowly weakening the two main characters in this tale. The condition that they both shared may have been a part of what brought them together in the first place. Little comments about the other ones and how they had seemingly forgotten what love was. One of the others was actually sitting nearby, oblivious to the fact that he was about to lose something very dear to him. As the night wore on and the locations changed to another dimly lit, but even louder bar - the two people found themselves closer and closer. Having whispered conversations about nothing in particular, but feeling magnetized to the other nonetheless.
The night at this point takes a turn that neither of them had fully expected. Both of the them had wondered what it be like to be right next each other and to touch and hold someone who actually seemed to give a damn. Alcohol had given them both the courage to do and say things that they hadn’t before. Showing a little more skin, making a little racier joke, getting closer to everyone and touching everything with a soft touch. The kind of touch that people can give when they are truly craving something different. Passion that is so strong you can feel someone’s intentions in the end of their fingertips.
But one of them thought the night had to end, despite all the signs right in front him that made him believe that it was wrong. There was, after all, another life that he had to get back to. He had picked up a part time job that he just a few hours from being late for. His significant other was expecting him back, even though she never said as much and certainly never treated him as a grateful woman should when he did come home. He thought to himself that he was needed back there though, but was simultaneously wishing that there was something here that was real. In fact, he knew there was something here that was real and the feeling was getting stronger the closer he got to leaving. In today’s day and age we’re ultra connected, so the thoughts he was having he put in to words in a text. He asked the other for permission to come back because he had felt the end just didn’t feel right. She completely agreed. She had been wondering what in the hell he was thinking anyways. Didn’t he feel what she was feeling, or was it something she just imagined? So when she got that text her heart leapt. He DID feel it, and he was coming back to do something about it. But wait, now that they’ve both said aloud something about this passion, this feeling, that makes it real. A kind of real that neither was really ready for and that certainly neither had actually dreamt would happen. Not tonight at least, not at a “going away” party. But yet here they stood, again. A hug is shared between the two, another kiss on the cheek but a little bit of fear and rationality still hovers between them. This can’t be real, it’s a dream. So, they let each other go again. He begins his daunting jaunt home again, nearly in tears because he knows he’s spitting in fate’s glorious face. She feels the same. Wondering again why she’s letting this go.
But then… another text, another plea to come back, another chance to get this right. By this time all the other friends and acquaintances are moving the party. So when he comes back this time he is even more hesitant. She is as well, going so far as to try to hide one last time just after she’s given him permission to come back. But then, one last text, one last attempt to finish what fate had started months ago, one more chance to find the rope they both needed to pull themselves from the monotony they lived in. And this time, finally this time, they grabbed on. To each other as tight as they could, to the rope, to a hope that things could be different. If even for just this one night things will be different. They hold one another closely, pulling back to see if the two eyes across from them have the same passion in them that they know damn well is coming from their own. Then they kiss… no longer a peck on the cheek but a kiss. A kiss that is it’s own contradiction. Safe and dangerous at the same time, soft and rough, careful and timed but yet as reckless as anything they’ve done in a long time. This kiss leads to a little journey in a car out to a tiny, empty place where the car can come to a rest and can become a time machine. They are both taken back to a more innocent time when you didn’t care about jobs or your friends, and all you had that was yours was the front and back seats of the car you drove. Kisses, grasps, and pulls that happen over the center console in a family sedan. Acting as if they are ignoring a curfew that they think is not fair. Acting like two kids that have just figured out what love is, and who knows - maybe they did just figure out what love is. He forgets his other life, she forgets hers. They trip over the L in the word love, maybe not falling yet but certainly seeing it before they catch themselves. You could write J + R on the fog in the windows, but neither know if that’s what they truly want yet. It is what they want though, and that will become painfully obvious very soon. Goodbyes are finally said, but they will be back in each other’s arms within just a few hours. A restless sleep is attempted by both, the nights events being replayed in slow motion in their dreams. They have to see each other again… Have to.
Friday, November 5th 2010
(to be continued...)