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      I loved him so much

     



I'm 19 years old and my fiancÚ of four and a half years cheated on me with a girl at college. He told me was not seeing anybody when I asked him after I broke with him. I didn't want to be his door mat for when he came home. He told me before I broke up with him that he didn't want to be committed to me but he still wanted to see me too. I thought to myself, he is going to continue to hurt me over and over again if he ever came back.


I'm so confused about all this stuff. I hate knowing when he comes home it makes me sick to my stomach knowing he's coming home. It hurts so bad that he doesn't call me but I don't want him to criticise me either.


He was my life and my heart. He told me I should have lost weight because his so called girlfriend weighs 85 pounds and I weigh 125.


I honestly don't know what to do anymore without seeing him or hearing his voice. I loved him so much.

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