I started an affair with a guy who was living with a woman and their baby. He had been with many other women too. I knew because I worked with him. He started going out with me and left her and married me, so I thought he really loved me.
We had two kids right away and I thought we were happy. But within four years of the wedding he was fooling around with a friend of ours. This person had also worked with us and used to come visit us for weekends and vacations because we had moved away to another state.
The affair continued without my knowledge for 7 years until she married and had two kids of her own. She then stopped coming up as much, but I thought it was because of the kids. When her kids got older, about 7 years later, she started coming up again. Her marriage was troubled and she eventually divorced. We had just had a third child. The affair eventually picked back up again to the point where she would come without the kids and stay in a nearby motel where my husband would meet her.
All along, I thought she was a friend, and even babysat her kids when she had to work and they were on school vacation. One time, I was watching them and she came up early to the motel. I was home with all the kids while they were having a blast at the local motel.
Eventually, I found a one hour and fifteen minute video tape of them at the motel having sex and exchanging love talk. I guess my husband wanted a way to get hot and jerk off when she was home in the other state by watching a video. He had made videos of us too. In the video, he was using sex toys on her that he also had used on me, dildo's and vibrators. Gross, huh? He kept them right in a briefcase in the dining room, and I was looking for another certain video when I stumbled on the one of them.
I didn't confront him because I wanted to catch them the next time she came up. I was very upset, though, and when he asked what was wrong I asked him to be honest about his fidelity. He lied through his teeth, but called to warn her and started looking for the tape to see if I had it. When he found out I had it, he apologised all over the place and said he would never see her again.
We are now in marriage counselling. I never guessed what he was doing, I was totally trusting of his fidelity and thought she was a friend. Now I am trying to reconnect with this man who has only been faithful to me for about 11 of our 25 years of marriage. I must be nuts, but I love the guy, and he claims to love me but felt I was too busy with other things and didn't give him enough attention.
We have three kids and a whole life together. He always seemed okay, he says it was just a close friendship with sex for fun, like in the movie "Same Time Next Year"