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      THE FACE WITHOUT A NAME

     


I was in a bus, on my way home, when I saw a couple. They looked so happy while holding each other’s hand. The guy held the girl so tightly as if making sure nobody could snatch her. I felt envious at the sight of them. I can’t help but take a side trip down memory lane. I remembered how he used to look at me so passionately as if I’m the only girl in the planet. Then he would kiss me and whisper “I love you”. His voice was like music in my ears, a lullaby inside my heart. His promises would always paint a smile on my face but when I realized everything was made to be broken; tears immediately came falling like raindrops.



Preoccupied with my bitterness, I didn’t notice the old man who sat beside me until he offered me his hanky. I looked at him and said “thanks but no thanks”. He smiled at me and muttered “I’m sorry however I just couldn’t ignore the tears and I can see the pain living in your eyes”. I pretended as if I haven’t heard a thing but he went on, “you know what young girl if he hasn’t seen your worth, it is because you have failed to recognize it as well. He has taken you for granted in the same way you have ignored yourself“. Feeling disgusted with what he has said, I answered “I don’t mean to be rude, but your way out of line, you are talking as if you knew what happened to me”. “I may not know the whole story but by just looking at your eyes, it seems as if I have already read the summary”. I went speechless, I guess he noticed it and so he continued by saying “don’t get me wrong young girl, this old man has seen so much in this world already. I have broken the hearts of many and a few have torn mine too. But there are two things I have learned. First, no one can hurt us unless we let them and so you can’t go on forever blaming him for the pain, the moment you have loved him, you have also given him the access to your vulnerability. Second, for someone to value you, you should be the first one to treat yourself priceless. Don’t give too much, just give what’s enough and save the rest. Remember no heart would beat for you except your own”. I was stunned with his words, and it took me sometime to regain my composure. “I offered him a genuine and pure love, should I be punished for doing such?” “Nobody said loving someone is wrong, yet, to loose one’s self and dignity while doing that is a mistake. Let’s just say you have been too busy staring at him that you have forgotten to look at yourself and that’s when it went unsuitable. However, it’s never too late you can still rebuild your life and once you do, it wouldn’t even matter if he has fooled you. Anyway, I have to go”. Then the stranger stepped out of the bus and left me puzzled.



As I reached home, I locked myself inside my room. Still, the words of the old man echoed in my thoughts. That’s when I realized enough is enough. I let myself into this and so I have no right to be mad at anyone. I wouldn’t be able to move forward if I will continue dwelling in the past. What I should do right now is forgive and accept that things are over and he is no longer a part of my life. I know it will require so much effort and hard work to be able to do that. I also know that it wouldn’t be easy for me, there will still be sleepless nights and I might still cry buckets of tears that can fill up an ocean. I still love him and I don’t know how long I will stay this way. Yet, I am now ready to take my chances. I may not have all the answers but I know someday I will be happy and I wish the same for him. After quite some time, I can finally say that this is GOODBYE… thanks to the face without the name.

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