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      Day 1

     






I woke up this morning so confused. I’m wearing clothes that aren’t mine, and I have no underwear on. Before I woke up…I guess dreamed I woke up next to my love. I dreamt we had fallen asleep together. Instead I woke up all alone. Immediately I checked the house, and when I didn’t find him and everyone else sleeping, I was still confused. I texted my baby, and told him I didn’t remember him going home last night. I remember us taking 3 xany’s each, we took our shirts off, and I started kissing him the way he loves. He was trying not to cry, I miss him so much already. I was biting his neck and kissing his ear. My mother walked in when I had my shirt off and gave us one of those brief annoying lectures, but after she left, we started again. We threw the blankets over us and I was moaning and breathing heavy in his ear, biting his chest and about to scream. I wanted so bad to whisper “I love you” into his ear, but I was starting to feel the xany’s and couldn’t speak. I got so tired, so I just laid next his bare chest, kissing him. That’s really all I remember. We were both falling asleep, so I drifted off and….here I am the next morning. I don’t remember when he went home. This morning I woke up at around 8:30AM. I asked my mom when my boy had gone home. She said around 11PM, and that when I came home I had fell asleep in the tub and then passed out naked on my bed. She said she had to slap me to wake me up and she had to dress me. She knows I was on something, and she’s looking in to my ditching school. I don’t care what she thinks. I don’t care about anything else but my baby, and I’m contemplating just leaving this place. I was supposed to go to school today…but I guess that’s not going to happen. Here’s my first day of dying little by little inside until I can feel my other half again.

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