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      I must go on

     



I am 30 years old and eight months ago broke up with a boyfriend of 3 years. I have to say this has been the most difficult 8 months of my life. I have never had a death in my family, so this is about the closest to death I have ever been. I have never been alone, so this has been very hard for me.


Over the months I have stopped crying and have kept myself busy. I just do not understand after you have been with a person for years, you think that you are in love, you break up and they act like you are an old high school friend and just move on with their lives? I don't get it. I have done a lot of soul searching and realize I have to go on with my life. He is not sad about our break-up, I cant live in the past. When you live, breathe, that person you were with and you break up, it's like losing your identity, he is all I knew for 3 years, I am starting from scratch now. I just want to tell people that I did not think I was strong at all when this first happened to me. I wanted to crawl into a ball and die. But I didn't. I went to work everyday, and spent a lot of time to reflect on my life.


I am very independent now and 110% stronger by myself. I still miss him and think about him all the time. I know this has left permanent scars on my heart, but I cant just build a wall around my heart not to ever let love find me again.


I must go on. I know you can too.

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