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      LOST BUT NOT FORGOTTEN LOVE!!! continued


I felt special that he was there celebrating with me he was there with me thatís was great , that night we danced we talked we ate we had fun my family liked him, my parents were happy to see me happy and they liked him a lot too, a little after that was when the problems started happening I was fighting with my parents a lot about stupid stuff so I was always sad and in a bad mood which made me sad because I would take it out on my love, he would say that itís okay but I knew better, around January 4 I found out that he had a facebook (which he had told me got hacked and wasnít able to use it) I saw there some pictures of him and a dog we had taken at the mall, thatís when I noticed that he was lying to me I didnít tell him anything because I was scared that he was going to break up with me and I was going to lose him, My feelings for him were too strong for him at this point. On a weekend on the same month we went to the mall that he worked at, he was acting weird I felt it, Also on that day I went home really late so my parents being strict as they were "grounded me" I was grounded for like 3 weeks but in that time he would go to my house and we would chill there I remember I wrote him a letter telling him that I was on visit time with him because being trapped at my house was like being in jail. I kept writing to him in journal after that so he can know what I was doing there, by this time he was different I felt that he wasnít comfortable with me, I knew something was wrong I didnít ask him anything again because I was scared of the outcome so I kept quiet. On January 18 he told me that his mom found out that he has a tattoo which was bad because his religion does not allow that. He got in trouble and got his phone taken away there was no way of talking to him I couldnít call his house because his parents thought that he got the tattoo for me (according to him)I knew that it was not the only reason I had a feeling his parents donít like me maybe because Iím not of their religion. Some time passed by I missed him a lot I was crying every day and night I stopped being the person I was, I was always sad, everywhere I went would remind me of him I couldnít stop thinking about him everywhere I was I was wishing he was with me, No where I went was good I had no life without him I was too dependent on him I had given everything for him I stopped talking to everyone I put him in front of everyone even in front of my parents and brother, My life sucked really bad. The people that knew me would ask me what was wrong and if there was something they could do, since I wasnít be able to sleep at night because I was crying the whole time everyone was saying that I looked older and that I didnít have the sparkle in my eyes anymore. I didnít care I felt so bad I wanted to do something to help out the love of my life but there was nothing I could do, it was almost a month that we hadnít talked I didnít know what to do if to wait for him or if I should just move on. I went to the mall one time and asked him but all he told me was that he was leaving to morocco :( I would see him at the mall whenever I went there but we didnít talk at all he would look away or pretend he didnít see me, I took it as a hint that it was over which made me feel even worst. He called me on February 24 he did it on private so I didnít know who was calling when I heard his voice I didnít know what to do my heart was about to come out of my chest I was excited,happy,mad so many feelings were running threw me at that time he talked to me like if nothing had happened he told me that since we didnít talk he was smoking more and was drinking and using drugs(got me mad)We kept talking until one day I went to the mall he was there he saw me pass by and he called me and asked me where I was, it was obvious he wanted to talk I went to see him and we talked He told me his feelings were still the same and that we MIGHT go back together he told me that he was going to get out of his religion and stuff like that I was so happy I felt like I had hope and that soon enough we were going to be together again. Like a week after I find out that he lied to me again that he was with another since like a week after we stopped talking. My heart broke at that day, I felt so hurt cheated on again a lot of feelings were within me, I was thinking of letting go but when I tried I couldnít, what I felt for him was stronger than I thought, I decided to keep him as a friend but Iím still hurting knowing that heís with another girl breaks my heart, of course I donít let him know about that because I know that he will stop talking to me and I donít think I can deal with that again. I tried to forget him by going on dates and talking to new and old friends but I still feel the same every time I try to forget about what we had I canít


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