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      Emptied out

     



When I met him I was only 16 years old and I knew that he was the one for me. We were in love and he was my very first love/boyfriend relationship I had experienced. A few years down the track I was pregnant. Our beautiful baby daughter was born and we threw ourselves into the role of playing mummy and daddy really well.


As time progressed I realized that we had started to change from the hand holding loving couple to the over worked and stressed unhappy couple. Then gossip began to fly. I got phone calls that my beloved had been sleeping with another women. y heart was broken. I had a 6 months old daughter to take care of and I didn't know what to do.


When we had returned from his so called weekend away with friends I realized that I had to say "LEAVE".


After long talks and many tears later he finally left and gave me time to grieve. After 4 months of what I thought was both our healing time, we had both decided to go to counselling. This was a great experience and things started to fall back into place.


I knew that I had to regain my independence, so I went back to school to get my BA in Teaching and Learning. In to the 2nd year of my training things just totally messed up. I knew we were having problems, but nothing to the degree to what was to happen next.


I got up one day and was sitting at the table having my morning coffee went he sat next to me, looked me straight in my eyes and said "I need my space, I'm moving out today". I was in total shock, total disbelief and most of all hurt.


I had compassion for him and understanding. I thought how brave of him to have the courage to tell me that he was unhappy and that he needed time to find out who he was. So I let him go without a fight.


Two days into the separation I caught him in bed with other women. I felt so stupid. Why didn't I know. I should have known that my partner was munching around. Once I caught him, he came around and took everything that he had purchased while we were together and then left me with the bills and our 4 year old daughter.


It has been only 3 weeks into the time that he has left me and I must admit it has been the hardest time of my life. Because I couldn't afford to stay in the home that we had established as a couple, I have had to find us cheaper accommodation. I have had to give up my training to find a job and I no option but to go on welfare.


These challenges have been hard to deal with and still today I find myself lost and confused. But I know that I have to rise above this experience and learn from it. This has happened for a reason and I will learn to embrace every emotion, just to know at the end of the day "I can be the better person"

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