Once Upon a Heartbreak
Things were good. I was in love with her. She was in love with me. We spent every free moment we could together. We spoke on the phone every night. We told each other everything. She helped me through a lot of hard trials and she kept me from falling apart. We talked about the future and how we wanted things to be. There were no secrets. She made me feel like I was someone, someone important. I treated her with respect, loyalty, and love. She told me I was worth it. I believed everything she told me. Then...one day...it was like she woke up and just decided that she didnt care about me anymore. On our one year anniversary, she broke it off. I can still hear her telling me that. She said lets be friends. I was fine with that. I just wanted her in my life in some way...even as just a friend. We continued to talk and hang out occasionally. She came to me with problems and I helped as best as I could. She would tell me about a guy she liked and I would pretend that it wouldnt bother me. I told her that I still cared about her and that I would always be there for her if she needed me. She started dating the guy she liked and she was happy. Honestly, I was happy for her. A few weeks later she called me up crying, telling me that her boyfriend broke up with her to go out with someone else and that she felt worthless, like she wasnt good enough. I told her that she was beautiful and was worth way more than he could offer her. I told her that he wasnt worth crying over if thats how he treated her. I told her not to worry, she could always count on her friends, she could always count on me. We continued to talk until she fell asleep. Then once again....as if she just woke up and just decided....she told me that she didnt want to be friends anymore. She told me that I wasnt worth it and that I wasnt good enough to be her friend or be with her. She told me to leave her alone and that she didnt want to talk at all anymore.
I still think about her. I sill think about the time when I was her boyfriend. Seeing her smile, seeing her happy...knowing that she is doing good, makes me feel at ease a little. Its been about 3 weeks now since she told me that she no longer wanted me in her life. She has no idea how much that killed me inside. I see her around some times and she sees me, but I stay away because she said that thats what she wanted.
I dont know what I did to make her want to push me away completely. I dont know if it was something I said or maybe even something I didnt do. She wont talk to me at all. It hurts inside to know that one second we were bestfriends who had no secrets and told each other everything, then the next thing I know she pushes me away and acts like we never knew each other. Like being my friend was the biggest mistake she ever made.
I hope she is doing good, she deserves that. And I hope she is happy.
I hope that one day I can think back and remember the good times we had instead of the feeling of a heartbreak from someone I loved.