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      Promised hope


I met him through his sister. We fell in love. We were both kind of crazy back then. Distance grew to be a problem. He moved closer. We both had problems and people who tried to corrupt our love. We still loved each other though. His drinking started really bothering me and one night it got to be to much. I just wanted to get away. That night I told him I did not want to be with him anymore even though I loved him a lot. He ended up choking me. I was a part in him going to jail. That night our relationship was over , or at east I thought. I was devastated. How could he do that to me? I swore I wouldn't see him again. Next thing I know I'm in a courtroom testifying about what happened that night. I felt so devastated. Why did this happen?, I don't know. Well the months passed by, I even had another boyfriend, but he did not mean anything to me. I just was trying to take my mind off of my x.

One day I get a call, it was him. He was out. Finally after a month I went and saw him. It was like we fell in love all over again. I believe people make mistakes. I forgave him and we began getting really close. We both decided to try and have a child. It worked, I was pregnant. We were so happy so excited. Then after about a month of pregnancy our relationship started going down hill. He started drinking again. It was not often, I accepted it since he was working so hard at work for our new family. We moved in together to a town where I knew nobody. He promised, if we moved in together he would never leave me alone. He said "you are having my baby, I love you, I would never leave you alone." Well, he kept his promise for a day. Ever since he goes to the bar. We've grown apart. He's out later every night. When he's not out at night there are people over snorting coke and drinking with him. It hurts so bad. I'm nothing anymore. The sad thing is in 4 and a half more months there will be a child. I here the word "sorry" 24/7, topped with him trying to blame his drinking and drugs on me. I don't even yell at him. I just cry. I don't know what to do. He thinks I'm controlling, but I couldn't be if I wanted to. He wants me to stay and not leave him. Why though. He leaves me alone and pregnant. Just like he promised he would not do.

The other sad part is I am so stupid for believing him. I'm trapped now with a life I don't want. There is no way out. I'm truly devastated.



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