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      My best mate

     


i was working and was excited because there were new people starting and it meant that i would get less shifts because i didnt like work i worked with a girl all shift we were flirting and laughing i was even ofered to go home early because it was not that busy but i still stayed because i was having a good time



after a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started texting all the time we would even sometimes send 100 messages a day and we became very close friends



i really liked her and i knew she liked me because she would hint all of the time in her messagers and i had over heared her friends talking about me

at this time i really liked her but i am very cautious about rejection i liked her but i dont like someone rejecting me because its embarrassing



a few years passed and we were pretty much best friends we texted everyday still and she had matured alot and i was very much inlove with her but still didnt have courage to ask her out because i really like her i didnt used to have trouble hooking up with girls at partys and stuff but i knew that if i did try to kiss her and she rejected me it would ruin our friendship



the day came where we came back to a mates house after an 18th and we were both very drunk and we finaly hooked up



the next day i was so happy that i finaly did it and me and her were texting each other and we decided to make a relasionship out of it



i have had girldfriends before but i knew this one was special it was the only time i had ever really loved someone and she would text me everyday telling me how much she loved me and i would feel loved and happy



i really wanted to be the best i could be for her i spent alot of money to get qualified for a job i didnt want i started trying to bulk up a bit more and i would always buy her stuff



she could not hang that much because her parents were pretty stricked and she was in the last year of school and wanted to do well i was annoyed because i wanted to be with her all the time but she would always say when school finishes we will be alot closer



almsot a year passed and we would still text all the time and tell each other how much we loved each other and that we would stay together forever and i think it had been the happiest time of my life



at this time she had only just finished school and i had only just finished the course that she wanted me to do and a week and a half had passed since we had hang and she went off to an event that celabrates finishing school she told me that her mum did not want me to go because she thought that i got jealous of alot of things so i just agreed and let her go



now i know that she didnt cheat on me at this event because alot of my mates stayed at the same place that she did and they would have told me for sure



a few days passed after she got back and she always told me that she loved me still and then the next day after telling me that she loved me she sent me a text saying that we should break up



i felt worse then i have ever felt i couldnt eat and i couldnt sleep i would throw up all the time and sit at my computer looking at pictures of her while crying i didnt know that a person could really get sick from having your heart broken i have terrible head aces aswell



i couldnt talk to anyone about how bad i fell because all of my friends will only laugh at me and call me gay they have done this to alot of my friends who have been dumped in relasionships before



i used to have high self esteem but after this i felt pathetic and like a loser because i used to look at other people who have had been dumped and think they were pathetic for sooking so much if i cant keep the person who i was best friends with and so much inlove with so much and who loved me back then i know that i am going to die alone i just hope its soon



I dont know why i have written on this website saying this i guess to just make myself feel better i also dont expect many people to read this considering i wrote alot i just felt like writing it all down



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