My all, my love
This is all true. Every word, every tear, every flutter he brought to my heart.
I was unhappy. I mean, REALLY unhappy for quite a long time. Of course I always had my wonderful friends that either supported me or tried to despite my lack of strength, and for things I have seen and lived, it took a hell of a lot to keep me afloat. I do not want this to be a tale of self pity, but I must tell every detail that led up to "him". During the month of April 2006 I was choked and raped by someone I was dating at the time. The aftershock of this event forever changed the course of my life. Shortly after the incident I was let go from my job. Apparently I was "mentally unstable" as they put it (which I was not), therefore I found myself hunting for another job. A very dear friend of mine suggested I apply to where she worked at the time, so I tried my luck and it so happened that they liked me. I started my job in June of 2006, and 2 months later he arrived. I remember it so incredibly well, I was sitting in the employee cafeteria talking with my co-workers and I saw him standing, his back to me. I had not seen his face and yet I knew there was something about this person that would shake me and my world which was finally stable after years of abuse on different levels. He turned around and I saw...I saw his beautiful eyes and I fell in love. I could not comprehend what I felt, but I knew it was right. The thing that took me a while to realize was that if I had not gone through the terrible things that were forced on me, I would never have wound up at a new job. I would never have met him. I would not be who I am today, and I am grateful for that.
8 months later our friendship graduated from small talk to regularly spending lots of time together. I was secretly obsessed with him because of his good looks and painfully shy disposition; I was fascinated. One day he called me a few hours before going in to start his evening shift at work. He wanted to show me some new clothes he bought and needed my opinion. I had just started my period and I always have painful cramps usually every month. He arrived, opened my apartment door and found me in my bed, resting. He asked me what was wrong and I told him my stomach was hurting, not wanting to go into details. He sat beside me on the bed and started to gently rub my stomach to try to appease the pain I was feeling, and I immediately felt better. I asked him if he would show me his new clothes and he said "It does not matter. I want you to feel better first."
That was it. It was the validation of the inexplicable feelings I had towards this man.
One week later we decided to try dating, although we never gave our relationship a chance to be casual; we immediately connected and saw the potential we had as a unit. Since that day, July the 4th 2007 at 3:30 in the morning, we have been living together and loving each other. Three weeks later, he promised that he would marry me and love me forever, and I truly believed him. On March 2nd 2009 he got down on one knee and proposed to me, just as he promised.
I have been trying to write the perfect sentence that describes how I feel about him and I am simply unable to. I feel like I cannot do justice to the love I feel for him. He knows absolutely everything about me and I him, and he still surprises me with his understanding and patience and honesty. Of course like any couple we have had our ups and downs throughout our relatively new relationship, but it keeps getting better everyday. No matter what happens he has always said "It is okay. We will be okay because we have each other, and that is all that matters."
He tells me that I saved him, gave him life. He says he loves me everyday, and when I am sick and feeling awful he tells me I am the most beautiful person he has ever seen. He kisses my shoulder when I sleep facing away from him to remind me he is still there next to me. He writes me notes with simple words that say everything. He tells me that everything is better when I am around, and without me he would be lost. He laughs at my bad jokes and dries my tears when I cry.
He allows me to be myself, only better.
I will always love you, forever, with all of my heart and soul.
- For V.