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      The one boy i actually love..


I was in 7th grade when i met this boy, he was at the school i was going too& wa hanging out with his friends. i was with my friends, and we started talking to him and his friends. throwing volly balls at them and just trying to make a conversation. at this time i never really truley had a boy flip my stomach and make me choake on words when i talk to him. this boy did... but he was in 9th grade..(2 year difference.. made everything complicated) after a while we started hanging out more. talking more. becoming close. when the 7th grade going into 8th grade summer we started hanging out. it was always me and my bff and him and his close friend. the four of us started getting real close i started liking this kid more and more and my bff liked his close friend. but there was always a problem.. his best friend hated me.. yes ill admit i am immature but if this boy really likes me why wont his bff be happy? one night when i was with this boy i liked &my bff& his. i talked to his bff, with my bff there. his best friend said if i dont break his heart he wont care becus he knows he likes me and has never felt like that with any other girl. i felt special and i couldnt help but smile and give his best friend a hug. that night the boy i like asked me out, i didnt even know how to answer i was in total shock. i finally said yes and jumped on him! he kissed me, and that one night changed my whole world. we didnt stay together long the next day he broke up with me becus i was too young.. ONE DAY your serious? that straight up HURT.. but i had my bff with me, we still stayed friends.. liking each other.. we became close. then one night i went bowling and me and my bff and him and his close friend came back to my house i was laying in this kids arms and he turns down and kisses me.. telling me that he really does like me.. then we made out.. my first time EVER.. and it was special.. then every time i saw him we would make out, we were starting out physical connection more then a REAL one.. but he asked me out again, but this time except his close friend and my bff knew.. we were always making out ALWAYS.. there was never a moment we werent. then when i fall hard for him and we start getting REALLY into each other. then we break up.. why? becus were scared to have an actual relationship.. when i started 8th grade we werent going out.. just talking.. then when we start getting used to it he asked me out when i was crying and we were fighting over something he looked me in my eyes in the pouring rain on 12.24.08 and says will you go out with me? i looked straight into his eyes to make sure this wasnt a prank and this boy was serious.. i huged him and kissed him and said yes. the best Christmas present ever. i lost my virginity to this boy in 8th grade year.. he has been my first everything. we fight and argue but we actually dont only have a physical connection but a mental one too. he looks at me in my eyes and tells me he loves me and cant picture his life without me. i am now in 9th grade, hes a junior, yeah maybe we are young but this boy ive knowen for 2 years still makes my stomach turn over his smile. im so close to him i tell him everything.. but our relationship is a secret becus he thinks that since im younger his friends will make fun of me? but if he REALLY loves me why cant we get past that?.. i can tell by the way he looks at me he really turely loves me. i love this boy with my whole entire heart,when he hugs me i cant help but smile. my stomach has so many butterflies its amazing. even when i look at another guy it will never be the same. ive cried over this boy, im in love with him. ive cried so many time that if you were in my shoes you wouldnt ever understand. im scared to loose him. i love this boy, with my whole heart. and if he was to walk out on me now, i really wouldnt know what to do with myself.. no matter how many fights we get into and no matter how much we hurt each other we know that were here for each other. i could see myself with this boy for the rest of my life. i might only be in the beginning of high school. but i already found the boy i will ALWAYS love when i was in 7th grade. the first time i ever looked at him.

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