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      His name was Alvin...


It  was a pleasant Monday morning and the start of the school year. I was so busy as a incoming senior high school student. I had to carry my new books and of course, my knapsack to carry all my stuff. I was excited about everything – my new classmates, new teachers.  I rode a jeepney and had to squeeze myself because it was almost full. While patiently waiting to reach my destination, a guy rode the jeepney as well. He was a handsome guy. My heart sank when I saw him but I never stared at him too long knowing that he might notice it. I pretended not to care because I don’t know him. But I admit, there was a little spark of curiosity of knowing who this guy is. The jeepney stopped and the mysterious guy departed from the jeepney. It was shocker because we actually had the same school. I was so conscious about my stuff that when I was about to step outside the vehicle, my books went all over as well as my bag. I was so ashamed of what had happened. I was thinking that the guy would help me pick up my things but to my disappointment, he just walked away from me. I was furious about him and thinking that I was the only one picking all those books. I remembered that day as the day of my embarrassment. I just hope that our paths would not cross again because knowing that we have the same school really made me upset. After the incident, my friend came to me telling me that she met someone so cute and she had a crush on him. I was excited and waited for her to give me a clue about who the guy was. I was saddened when she pointed to the mystery guy who was heartless. And then, she softly whispered in my ears, “Alvin Leo is my crush. He is one of the smartest and the cutest guy in the school.” I can’t believe what I heard. I just ignored her. The “jeepney incident” suddenly replayed in mind and it got me upset. The bell rang and it was time to proceed to our designated classroom. I was dismayed because I went to classroom with a bunch of strangers. Luckily, I still have one of my friends, Jayrold. He was my friend and classmate since freshman days. I felt lucky at least; I have someone I know in the class. But then my heart skipped a bit when I saw a familiar soul came inside our classroom. He was not obviously lost. He approached our teacher and told her that he belonged to our class.  I became timid and shy. I could not understand myself. I learned that as days went by, he was really intelligent and generous in terms of sharing his assignments to everyone except me. I was not one of them, I had the guts to make my own and stand up on my own feet, prove to him that I may be average but I still know how to make my own assignments.  Fate has its own way of playing with us, my teacher thought of a seat plan where she made a draw lots for boys and girls. To my surprise, Alvin Leo and me became seatmates because our names matched the draw lots game. “Is this coincidence?” I asked myself. I felt a lump in my throat.  I felt nervous.  I never spoke to him while we were seatmates for three months. There was one instance when he asked me something and the whole class noticed it. Everyone cheered and teased us. I felt small and hope that I am somewhere else and not seated next to him.  After three months of being seatmates, we had our own different seatmates but still I ignored him. When Intramurals came, I received a note from him asking if he could be my friend. I was happy and smiled at the thought that he noticed me. I replied with a letter. Since then, we became pen pals. We exchanged letter and he confided his feelings about his family and almost everything. We never spoke to each other but we were “silent friends”.  One day, he came up to me asking if he could walk me home. I refused and told him that my parents would scold me if I would entertain such. I tried to escape by walking fast but he still went after me. I hidden myself in the church and he still pursued me. On several occasions, he was like a puppy running after me. But I declined. Until I heard news that he was finally dating a girl named Dhena. It was that fast. I was not even prepared. “Why?” I asked myself. She was a pretty girl. So I guess she entertained him well. I was broken hearted. After a few days, I received a letter from Dhena stating that Alvin did not court me because I am acting childish. I even heard that he was just playing with my feelings since they had a bet with his friends. The bet was to make me fall for him. I accepted my fate and I just went to the chapel next to our school and cried my heart out to God. My sister saw me with swollen eyes and she immediately knew it was because of Alvin Leo. I felt, my heart sank the deepest because I knew I was falling for him.I remembered that day, as the day of my vengeance. Hoping that someday when he realizes that he made a mistake, I will make him suffer. I vowed as I left the church. At long last, the day of graduation came; I had the chance to have a last glimpse at my school and bade my friends’ goodbye. I just smiled and thought, I made it, thanked God. He approached me, and smiled at me. I just ignored him. We parted ways and learned from Jayrold that Alvin broke up with Dhena. I was puzzled why. I never bothered to ask the reason. After that day, he came and visited me in our house. I told him that maybe he could give us time and let fate decide if we were meant for each other. Maybe, we’re good as friends. In short, I dropped him like a hot potato. It was fulfilling but I felt sad.I went to college, and moved on with my life. I was having a good time with myself. No boyfriend. Until, I reached my senior year in college. I saw a familiar face again, it was Alvin Leo. He transferred to our school and took up the same course like mine, Computer Science. I heard that he was a topnotch from the university he came from. I was baffled about what happed to him. One day, I was on a jeepney when he rode and sat beside me. He was wondering why I had the guts to speak to him. Maybe he thought, this was not the same girl I used to know, the shy one. I even offered to pay for his fare. After that fateful day, he went to our house. He spoke to my mom and dad. They knew him because he often shares his life to my parents. His mom alone raised him. And having a broken family was the reason why he made some wrong decisions in his life. HE was confident that he could win my heart this time. HE asked me while handling me the gifts for my birthday. I was happy for him but after he told me about his intention. I told him that maybe it was not meant to be. It was just a dream to have him once and then lost him forever. I told him that life was complicated this time and I have to pursue my studies and maybe time will decide for us. I even told him that I am a Born Again Christian and am not prepared yet for any relationship for fear of heartaches. HE went away with the clouds of lonesomeness. I could not console him, I don’t know. Sometimes you have to hurt someone you love and let him or her go away realizing that you were never meant to be. Years passed, I was working as a technical support analyst when I received and email from him. He was asking me if my picture in the one of my blogs over the Internet were wedding pictures. I told him not. While expressing his intention to me about his love, I dropped his heart for the third time. I told him that I met somebody else and I am happy. I was so sad that we were never meant to be.  He emailed me, with his heart felt apologies and stated that there was no use of crying over “spilled milk.” Right now, I heard he is in Canada and I heard that he has no “love life”. He just separated with his girlfriend and he had a son with her. I never received any e-mails nor love letter from him. It was the end. I guess. Maybe, he realized that somewhere out there, there’s this special someone for him.  


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