Im in love with my friend
i am waiting for the guy that our Father had designed for me..everyday, i am wishing that when i wake up the next morning i will feel the love that i am longing for so long.but that thing seemed to be so hard to have.
i have fallen in love to someone i´ve known from the start will never fall for me.i have witnessed how playboy he is.but then i never tried to cease loving him.even the times when he´s hanging out with lots of girls i never did.the feelings getting deeper.i used to interrogate him about his girls(acting as if curious) wishing that there´s no one new in his life..sometimes, im hurt, sometines the interrogation ended with a smile..he changes his girls like changing his shirts.i know i will never win over his girls..i am just a mediocre type of lass compared to his sophisticated girlfriends..kumbaga, wala akong pŕnama sa kanila.
i tried to avoid him because i am hurting everytime i see him so happy with someone..but avoiding him is the hardest thing to do because he is a guy next door..everytime i see him i should act normally, casually acting like theres nothing i feel for him and sometimes i couldnt stand at it. i denied to everyone that i am not affected with him…
i was captured by his sweet smile.those pair of eyes full of emotions meeting my gaze hiding my love for him.sometimes i could not take my eyes off him. i am engrossed staring at him. i had fallen in love with him because of those glimpses.how i wish i have that fluke of love that out of nowhere he will also feel love for me.
i was carried by my delusions, believing my own prejudices.because of it, i am in this predicament making me gloomy all day long.i am casted in a corner feeling lunatic over him.my mind is poured with hallucinations, i just could not stand being faraway from him.
i am here drowning in pain because of his face to face admission that he is head over heels in love with someone.i am curling like a wounded animal licking its wound.
i am palpably in love with him but he is too blinded by his feelings for her.he just dont realize that someone is here waiting for him for so long now.
those moments of being with him were the happiest times.i have tattoed them in my mind.thanks for it because i have something to look back now that we´re not in good terms.
i am trying to get out of his way.i am abstaining myself from talking to him even it hurts within me.how i wanted to have conversations with him like the way we used to but how would i forget him?the poignancy this situation cause seemed to be unbearable.i had lost a friend and that is my biggest
mistake, falling for one of my few friends.
now, im crestfallen..i did something i shouldnt do..i regret what i did.i should have not done it.it just making me so blue. i revealed my feelings to him.