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      Loving From a Distance

     


I fell in love with him six years ago. I've been in love with him for five. At first, it was an innocent crush. But it lasted, and soon developed into that four letter word.



I loved seeing him, I would grab the chance anyway I could. He made me feel incredible. Of course, all the good ones are taken. That's right. He's married. That sends up red flags. See, I would never take someone else's man. I don't do affairs. That's not me. So I dealt with friendship. But I still couldn't shake the feeling. With him, I always felt safe. I felt like I could do anything and be anyone I wanted to be.



Two years ago, the pain came. And since, it's never left. It was a pain I had never felt before. One that you never want to feel. It got so bad that I couldn't be around him without the constant reminder of what will never be. On many occasions I didn't see him for months at a time.



I know it sounds strange, and no, I never made a move. I respect people. I would never do anything to hurt either one of them. I just had to make do with what I have been dealt. There's a reason for everything.



No, I am not a robot. Sometimes I find myself crying, which sounds ridiculous even to my ears. I find myself dreaming or daydreaming about him. Of us. Just little things, like being in his arms or just being with him. Maybe it's the security that I miss. Maybe that went away.

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