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      Hurting inside


   when i was still a kid, i always believe in true love, that fairy tales do come true, that someone will gonna love me despite of my looks and everything, that someday my prince will come out of nowhere  and boom we will live happily ever after. . .


    But that is very veryyyyyyy far from reality, because real life is cruel, it makes you crazy thinking about everything that happens. but as they say" love isn't true, when it doesn't hurt.


    i fell in love a couple of times already, but all ends up in a painful way. the sad thing is all the person that i love gone without knowing that i love them. i know it was a big mistake, i should have tell them that i care and love them. But it's too complicated to show my real feelings towards them because they are already belong 2 someonelse and i dont want to ruin their relationship, coz i dont want to happen the same way to me. so i just cry and cry until the pain is gone.


     the very  tragic part of my life is that i gave myself to someone that i didnt love, to someone that he doesnt love me too , we just did it because of revenge, we just want them to feel the hurt,the anger and heartache we're experiencing. . .because we believe that his gf(who happens to be my friend)had an affair with my greatest love that time. i dont know what had gotten to my mind that time that i did it. until now 8 was a nightmare to me, tht was my worst descision i've ever made in my entire life.



  lesson is dont make any descision at the peak of your emotion. because eventually, you will be the one to suffer the biggest blow. so think a million times before making a crucial descision.


     today, i just leave all things to God, i dont want to wish for someone who doesnt exist anymore, , i just wait for the person that will love me unconditionally. . . .


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