What was never meant to be. Fate is cruel.
As a freshman in high school some live more life than others. And you'll always meet people who you want to know and want to talk to. Through out my entire freshman year I met "interesting" people. While at a different school I had my boyfriend of a year. I was only ever interested in having guy friends because I relate better to guys sometimes. Two people went by who I was forced to never see because of my boyfriend...and one day I was tired of it. My boyfriend was far from perfect but at the end of the day he loved me and cared for me.
In the last month of freshman year, old friends fell apart while new ones came. While having drama with this girl, I started talking to the guy, James, she had been talking to but he wasn't interested in her...at all. We talked every night and not for that long but he connected with me on a mature level about things i cared about. And one night we went out, typically stuff really. Coffee, then casual fast food, then his house where we sat and watched Pirates of the Caribbean. The entire time he kept playing with my hands and putting his arm around me telling me I'm the perfect fit, I called him out on liking me, and he did the same. We kissed and I felt something and he kept kissing me so I assumed he did too...
A week later while hanging out with my two best friends (one of which is his best friend) he came over after telling me he was busy with his grandma. Ouch, he wouldn't talk to me all night. The first and last thing he said was "I'm just not that into you, but you're a good kisser."
At school at one point I had four of my former closest friends (Lauren, Diana, Elizabeth, and Rae in my gym class where we would talk about everything, including this girl who always talked about a very attractive popular junior she liked. And by the last month of school they started dating. It worked, her and him and me and this boy (the same boy I was with when assface showed up).
It's the summer and my two bestfriends are a girl, Allie, and a boy, Christian (same two friends). I hang out with either or both of them everyday. Christian was James's bestfriend and Rae's boyfriend, but she wasn't really allowed to ever see him because of the 2 year age difference. And I was never in love with Christian, he was my best friend and I enjoyed his company. Eventually though one night while texting me about how he doesn't think things with Rae will work out he says he likes me a little, and it hit me, I like him too. That night we talked for hours and the next couple days he would stop by and see me. There began a pattern though, for a hot shot he was quite inexperienced, and I was. And he began asking me questions about certain things, what to do how to and crap. I blew it off, no big. The day day we hing out from early morning to late night because that's what we always did and we usually talked all day, but this day he talked about how he and Rae would never see each other and we would never experience anything with her. He smoothly and casually brought up oral sex and he had always pretended he had done it but really had not. And asked me if I would, just so he would know.
This automatically seems like a red flag but by now I had fallen head over heels, he was nice and charming, super hot and cared for everyone, he was the guy to be with. But I played that off too. I realized that Rae had not been brought up in a while and he said they never talked, I assume too much but I guess i thought they were over. And then one day he came over and we watched Wayne's World and were having a blast, laughing at everything, talking about anything. And with no word of Rae I didn't mind if I was ever his girlfriend, I was so happy that he thought I was cool enough to hang around.
Christian, Allie, and me were pretty much always together and we always went to happy hour at sonic and went tanning, which is why it took me off guard for him to wanna hang alone. I thought it was a trio sort of thing.
After Wayne's World we went downstairs to pick out a new movie. He said he really wanted to try oral, and even though friendship was awesome I was desperate to keep his friendship and his attention and did it to him. Nothing changed, we decided to eat instead and we went to subway. Things were still perfect until we were done and he said he was going to Rae's so he'll talk to me later. He sure texted, he said that it wasn't a good idea for us to hang out because i let him cheat (he's a pretty big flirt anyway). I desperately texted back, not so I could break them up, but because I wanted to keep my best friend. He said it just wouldn't work. I haven't talked to him since that, and haven't seen him since the bad thing.
I feel used, wasted, thrown away, and now I'm the now sophomore whore amongst the upper classmen for not only doing that but because iI jumped friends, which wasn't intentional. The summer that was full of promise and hope is all gone.