What kind of love is this?? (Real or stupid love ???)
After being with a guy for over 4 long years, all he could say was "sorry, It wasn't thinking".
It all started when his actions around me begun to change. He was not picking phone calls around me, he was not keeping up with his promises anylonger, like he was mixing them up or somrthing. I asked him several times why the sudden change of attitude. All I could get was "no problem, just stress from work".
In our fisr year of the relationship, there was this issue of him going to NY almost every weekend; sometimes, he wouldn't even say why or inform me he was leaving. But I am a gal with lots of patience and make something work especially, if I like or in his case, Love him. That went on for about a month and we were back to a normal, loving couple.
Second and third years passed and boy did we have our share of crazy n happy moments. There were atimes I had to literally call up particular gals on his phone and ask them to stay away cos he was already taken. Some that I knew personally. What a shame for the him after I found out he was talking to them. The first big blow came when I found WEDDING PICTURES of him and his wife in his apartment. Apparently, he had been married just 3 months before we started dating. OMG i said to myself, "I am in love with a married man, what do I do now?". Since his wife was in a different country, I was very reluctant in letting him go. And I was compelled to deal with it for the rest of our relationship bcos I was soo deep into him that I couldn't let go.
2009 is here and his wife is the least problem on the plate. Apparently, (refaring to the 2nd paragraph) he has been screwing this other gal at his former job. I must admit, the gal is psycho. I confronted her once of his phone when she couldn't stop calling him. He happend to be in the shower and this gal woldn't stop buzzing his phone. So I decided to pick up.
"Hello" I said
"Who is this"?, she implied
"AK, Na's gal, n who r u"? I asked
"Ma, OMG, I didn't know Na has a gal, bcos we have been dating for about a month now" she said
"Well, now you know, and just f.y.i, I will be very honored if you never contacted him again". I implied.
So after long minutes in the shower, he heard me talking to her on his phone. He was dumb founded and couldn't say a word. I shared tears alright but he was quick enough to convince me that it wasn't anything serious and he was going to cut her off ASAP. I somewhat believed him and we moved on from there.
Just this mothers' day, I fortunatly, or unfortunately for me and him as well, decided to sneak a peak in his text messages. Low and behold, I read the most heartbreaking and disgusting thing ever... the same gal textex;
'Na, I stopped taking my pills and I was having some stomach aches. Went to the doc and I was told I am pregnant'.
Good Lord, what have I goten myself into. I confronted him ryte there and then. And all he could say is "Baby I am sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, this is all a mistake". I could do was look deep into his eyes and tell him how disgusted I was; I walked out of his house never looking back. Even though this has made me go on a hunger strike for the past 2 days, and crying my eyes out alongside, all I can think of is "WHY DIDN'T I LET GO OF HIM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE???... AND FOUR GOOD YEARS OF MY LIFE HAS ALL BEEN A LIE....
Not even a single phone call from him. Even though I still love him, I do not know if I will ever find it in my heart to 4give him. He has really crampled my heart and torn it into peices.....