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      How do I stop the hurt?


R ecently my significant other of 10 years went on a business related trip to Las vegas. He invited me to come along. A few days before we left he found out no other spouses or SO's were going, and his boss teased him for taking me. He decided he did NOT want me to go, but he didn't want to hurt my feelings, and the tickets were already booked, so he said nothing.

When we got there he was already late for a function that was supposed to last from 6-8. He needed to leave immdeiately, and I wanted to change clothes and look nice for him, so he left me at the hotel, and said he would call me and tell me where to meet him.

When he got to the event with his co-workers (it was a bar "meet & greet" by the way - he works for the restaurant/bar industry) he started drinking & thinking, and decided he really resented me for tagging along on his "work trip". He decided the best way to punish me for wanting to spend time with him was completely ignore me and exclude me from his company for the entire trip. At some point he decided this punishment was not severe enough. The "game" would be more fun if he could not only blow me off, but also insure that I had no fun at all while I was there. He did this by repeatedly making sketchy plans with me, telling me he would call me & tell me "where" and then never calling me at all. I guess this worked quite well, as the last night we were there he was very proud of himself. After me waiting for 6 hours, he came back to the room and I said "Thanks for calling!" and he said "You're welcome!"

Once we got home, and he realized how much he hurt me, he fessed up to what had happened & he seems sincerely apologetic. Said he was stupid, immature & selfish, and it would not happen again.

I am really torn up over this. He has NEVER been deliberately cold and cruel to anyone! I have lost almost 30 lbs this last month. I can't eat, I barely sleep, and cry at the drop of a hat. I really want to get past this and move on. I DO believe he is sorry, and I know he cares about me, but I don't know how to get the trust I had in him back and just get over it. I can't stop thinking about his deliberate betrayal and lies over something I had nothing to do with.

Anyone able to give me some advice on forgiving/forgetting & getting back to our old relationship?


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