My name is Christy. I got married when I was 18 years old, but it started long before that. I was in my Freshman year when I got into some trouble. My mom decided it was best for me to go live with my father. I got into more and more trouble to the point where I was completely lost and had no way out. I started doing things 14 year olds shouldn't. When my mom finally realized what was happening she told me to come back home.
I was still lost and I finally hit rock bottom. My Junior year I started dating a guy who was mentally and physically abusive. At this point in my life I thought it was normal. We finally broke it off. I then started dating another guy who found every chance to cheat on me. So of course that didn't work out. I finally decided that I wanted to change my life so I started going to my mom's church and I really felt like I belonged that no matter how hard life was there was somewhere I could go.
I met a guy named Shawn who is now my husband. I was 17 when we started dating. I wasn't really looking for a relationship so I was scared to death of him. I was never treated this way before and it literally scared the hell out of me. I kept my wall up because I was waiting for him to hurt me. Every time I started to fall more in love with him I pushed him away.
Well a month before our 1 year anniversary I got pregnant. I ended up miscarrying the baby. We were both confused at the time and decided to break it off. We were still friends. For 6 months we had a relationship to where we told each other everything and we went to the movies, everything. Everybody thought that we were still dating. Finally one night he told me that he had joined the Army and I just cried. I was losing my best friend. Before he left he had proposed to me and of course I said yes. I was so happy but yet I just felt that I was losing a part of my life.
When he came back home from Basic Training and AIT we were hitched. We moved to Washington a few days later. Now we have been married for over a year and our relationship has fallen apart. I know that we love each other we just seemed to fall out of love and a huge part of me wonders why we are together. Now he is stationed over seas and we found out that we are having a baby. I know that he loves me and he tries but he's just a different person. He tells me that I did this to him because I pushed him away so many times when we were dating that he just doesn't want to try anymore.
Now we are in the process of getting a divorce. I asked him where we went wrong and neither one of us has an answer. I think that we will always love each other it will just be in a different way. I know that we will remain good friends and we will stay in contact but we are better as friends then we are married.
I will miss him my whole life but we are holding on to something that we wish we had. Neither one of us can say whether or not things will change but I know that deep in my heart he has taught me something about life that no matter how life turns out there is always love out there and it comes in many shapes and forms. I learned what I want and don't want in love. I learned how to love somebody and I now know what it feels like to be loved.
I just want to say thank you Shawn for teaching me the way I should live my life and the way that will bring me to true happiness. I will always love you and you will always be a huge part of my life. I hope that you take care and you know that you will always have a friend.