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      Torn heart


i fell in love with this guy. we were very much in love. he was my everything. but we had a slight problem. my family never liked the idea of us being an item. but because we were so in love we kept it a secret. we planned that if i got pregnant that maybe they wud let us be.. but then we realised that we were bringing a child into the world for selfish reasons. things went sour between my family and we had to break up. not long after we had broken up i found out i was carrying his child. i was so scared. i wanted to tell him but because we had an ugly breakup..i wasnt sure how he felt about me because he used to always aviod me and never really took notice of me. when i picked up the courage to actually tell him..all he said to me was..GOODLUCK WITH YOU AND YOUR CHILD..!! i was so shattered and hurt..!!he wasnt the same guy i feel in love with. i couldnt handle the pain and just having the thought of having a child to him made me so furious. i ended up having an abortion. a decision that id never forgive myself for. i couldve raised the baby alone..i couldve.. but just the thought of my baby with his fathers blood flowing through him..i dont know..!!he broke my heart, and i wasnt going to let him do the same to my child. its now been a year since all that happened..and i still havent let go of him. im so in love with him. noone actually knows but i am. i just reacently found out that he still loves me. im so happy cause i want to be with him, but im so terrified of my family and if he'll hurt me again.what should i do??should i go back to him??


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