I was married young, and my husband left me for another woman. I had three kids with this man, we were married just before the birth of our third child, and divorced 8 months after. He was a loser, and I don't regret losing him to this day.
I had to work hard though to keep sole custody of my children. Nick, Hailey, and Ben were all I lived for. I worked at a grocery store stocking at night, and at a diner during the day.
Occasionally on the weekends I worked at the local ballpark in the concession stands. I was a fighter.
I had my first baby with this man at twenty. I was going to art school, and dropped out to be with him more. I couldn't focus on him and school. I gave up my dreams, like a fool. So my mom and I hadn't talked. After our divorce she was there for me, but wouldn't help me financially. Even for her grandchildren. She said I had got myself into this mess, I had to find my own way out.
Anyone who has worked so hard for so long, knows that eventually you crack. I started dating. I had to have an outlet. I got pregnant. I had the baby, because it was my mistake. There was no way I could give the baby up. It was hard to work, pregnant, and then I couldn't take much time off. I couldn't find anyone to take care of such a young baby, and I was now alone raising four children. I had a wonderful new baby girl, Mariah, but I was broke, poor, tired, and getting old fast.I was only 28.
I filed for bankruptcy that year, got evicted, lost it all. Almost lost my kids, but I fought for them I was a fighter, I said. But, it was scary to not be able to control it. I was working hard. It's not like I was out drinking, and smoking, and selling myself. I had to keep faith. everyone has that hard year. my year was that year...hard as hell.
I started going and doing activities with my kids on the weekends. Like, going to parks, doing volunteer work at a local animal shelter. Soon, my little one was three, and we were a regular hard working family. My oldest, nick was nine by then, and he would help me get all the kids in bed at night. I played hard with my kids, because I was so scared they would grow up not to feel like they had a childhood.
I started dating a man. He was nice, and kind, and sweet.....and very very married. Very married with six kids of his own. When I found out, I went ballistic. he was the first guy I had trusted in so long. how could he? It was over.
I was alone again with my kids......and pregnant again. Jack's baby. I didn't want to have the baby. I almost didn't. But, I just couldn't do it. I even drove and sat in the abortion clinic parking lot, but I just couldn't go through with it. Something told me not too.
SO, Andrea, Jack's wife, found out about it. She found out about him lying, our affair, our everything. I told her I wasn't having the baby to win Jack, I didn't want him. I was not trying to break up a home. She of course didn't believe me. I had ruined her life.
Later, she found out, Jack had three other love children, with two other women, they never knew he was married either, but when they found out, they didn't care.
Andrea came to me to talk. She had six children, and was now in my shoes. My son Dane was born, and Andrea was there to hold my hand the whole time. We had become best friends, as odd as this sounds.
Andrea, and Jack had 6 wonderful children together. they were married for what she had thought were 15 wonderful years. His children ranged in age from 13-3 at the time of the divorce. Andrea and I both were down on our luck. She had never worked, and was going through what I had been going through for years. It made it easy for the two of us to sit down and share our frustrations together. We rented a large house together, a 5 bedroom. We shared a room, and our 11 children got the other 4 bedrooms to share, and then there was a loft. We used it as Dane's room. My baby.
Life was crazy, hard, but fun with someone to share to with. Andrea and I continued to share problems, and pain,and find comfort in one another. One night that comfort went a little to far, when we met in the middle of the bed.
Yes! But, it was great, and we have been together every since. My youngest son is now 6, and her oldest is now in college, Paul. We love life together. Although I am sure it is strange for Jack.
Anyways, sometimes our biggest mistakes turn out to be our best choices. What if...I sometimes wonder, but wouldn't want to. I would've never found the love of my life. My Andrea
And darling- I do love you forever. I do. We are going to Hawaii next spring---that's right. We are joining in permanent union. I never thought my life would turn out this way. It's been 6 years, It was no mistake. I never knew I was gay......but I am happy, and that is all that really matters in this world.