I DO love him (quite a long story)
Before I start, of course I'll introduce myself. My name's Juno Valentine. Hey. This story that I'm about to share to you is what I'm experiencing right now. So, here it goes...
During my first year of college, my mom requested me to transfer schools to her hometown which was a 3-hour drive from our home. It was a city to be exact. When I got there, I feel a little bit uneasy at first, because of the living they have there (I used to live in a province so I didn't know that what they do is normal). At first, it's difficult for me to cope up with them. I didn't even know how to cross the street which was kinda pathetic for my age. And there's also school, of course.
During my first day of classes, I was really nervous because I'm like a stranger to my new classmates. I mean, I've never knew anyone there, which was a sad thing. And to add more nervousness, I'm having a hard time talking to someone because I know in myself that I'm not a sociable type-of-girl (I don't even know how to smile properly!). It really sucked. But, as time passes, eventually I DID fit in which was kinda awesome in my part. I met all sorts of people including teachers whom I 'm friends with, and of course my friends whom I did rely on at times.
As part of being a collegiate student surrounded by temptations, I did have some sort of "addiction". My friends introduced me to "online computer games" which I thought was cool (Yeah, kinda awesome). I was interested in it when I saw one of my classmates playing it (my classmate's name is Janus). And then eventually I became more and more into it which developed me a new skill, "socializing" (yeah). Playing computer games everyday was fun, really, because we're all doing it! (he, he).
I've also met this guy who was always greeting me, saying things like "hello Ms. Juno" and "Goodmorning" whenever he sees me everyday. I really like it, how he treats me (he's name's Phobos). Eventually we did became friends and he courted me...but in the end, it didn't work out. Though I did have feelings for him. Strong feelings, I guess.
And then, there's the rumor...
A rumor started swirling around our department that one of my classmates (he's name is Charon) liked me, not as a friend but as "like more than friends" or something like that. To me, it's not a big deal 'coz it's just a rumor, I didn't even have the time to figure if it's real or not. Though it was kinda a hard time for me 'coz it seems to be true. (sh*t) In my part, I don't want to have any part of it. I mean, I just broke up with my boyfriend whom I caught cheating on me! How was I going to cope up with that!? But...I do like someone at that time, though it was not more than as a friend... (he's name's Europa).
Europa and I became BF-GF when he courted me and when I thought everything's doing good--NO, it's not. During our summer vacation, I found out everything about him--awful things about him. Including he's other girlfriend which was a really sucking thing to know. Of course, I broke up with him. At that time, all I did was play online games til I faint (actually it was true, I did faint. But just one time). I was damn miserable. But after our summer break ended, school's about to start again...
At that point, I did NOT had a hard time socializing with others because I already knew them! (yay!). But...I seem to kinda notice this particular guy...
My classmate Janus!
All I know at that time was, Janus is the type of person who doesn't really socialize and mingle with other people. He sort of likes to keep things to himself though he was quite a joker at times. I really like guys with a LOT of sense of humor because I like to laugh-out-loud! I was really happy that even though my love life turned upside down, at least I can laugh at his jokes. But I was confused. I mean, why did I suddenly notice him? Was it because of he's jokes? Or something else? Well, I did got an answer to that during my birthday...
My birthday came and I had this sort of feeling that I have a thing for Janus. It was so frustrating for me. I...I can't fall in love with him! No, no, no. He's prohibited! He's Charon and Europa's friend and I didn't want to ruin their friendship just because of my "love-struck" feelings! And..he doesn't to like girls that much. Then, I came to a decision that I will just stay away from him. But the more I avoid him, the more I was getting drawn into him! (OMG!). I can't seem to stay away from him. We even ended up texting each other. As I was drawn into him day by day, I finally snapped and sort of confessed my feelings to him. I did not expect any replies from him though I did get my reply. The next day, I noticed that he was always looking at me and we were getting closer and closer (Whoa). At that time, he also confessed to me that he also likes me and we became BF-GF.
After a few moths of having our relationship, we became more and more in love with each other until we're inseparable. Though we did always argue about something shallow or arguing over jealousy or something like that. Though we forget about it and make up the next day.
But now...I don't know what to do anymore, he's becoming more and more argumentative and insensitive. I did try to tell him about it but he just got mad at me and told me I was just over-reacting. I mean, I DO love him but, what can I do about his behavior? I don't seem to understand him at this point. I can also recall the times when we'd almost break up because of some silly fight. But, we did sort things out the next day and still continued on our relationship.
Then, just after I was about to break, thinking about what should I do, I've noticed Phobos waving at me and saying "hi" to me again and I did somehow remember the times that even though I have a relationship with Janus, HE was always AND still greeting me whenever I see him. Even if he has already shifted courses and belonged to the other department, he never fails to notice me. I mean, I was confused. What is that all about? It's depressing to think about it.
But, I can't give that thing a special meaning or something...I already have a boyfriend and even if our relationship's on the rocks right now, I still love him. Always am. Always will. I just have to figure it out what to do with his attitude right now. An advice would be great.