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      Walk away

     



I met "John" when I was 23, he was 20. The moment I laid eyes on him I was so in love with him; the same was true for him.



We had this very psychic connection from the start. When we finally got together it was the most amazing explosion my life has ever felt. We were mad for each other for a year and a half.


Then he moved in.


I took care of him, the bills, the laundry. We started to argue some. Ok, ok it got physical once or twice. We went to this very formal party together and he pushed me down; my tooth went through my lip and I still have a scar. I forgave him, we were both very drunk to say the least. Two months latter he left me because I was "too negative". I found out later that he had been seeing this friend of ours for six months behind my back. She lived in another city and I think he saw the opportunity to get out of our small town. I found out and was devastated.


Before we broke up, we knew things were going down hill and we had agreed to make a pact to meet at this certain place, at a certain time, on a certain day. As it turns out, that day was the birthday of the whore he left me for. But he was there.
It meant a lot. We walked and talked for about an hour. He told me that she really meant nothing to him and that he really did leave me because I was depressed all the time (which I was later diagnosed). He also told me that he really loved me and that no matter what in a few years he would come for me because he knew that I really loved him and that I was the one meant for him.


Six months passed by. I called him to come and get the rest of his crap from my house. He told me things had changed, that everything was different and he realized, what he had lost. So, I did my best to forgive and forget. I wish I could say that worked, but, it didn't.


We had a long distance relationship for six months. Last week, I was stuck. He told me to take a cab to his house and he would pay the fair. I did. His roomate paid the fair and told me "John" was sleeping. I went into his room and crawled up next to him. This other girl popped up on the other side. It's his new girlfriend.



My heart aches. But Like Ben Harper says "Sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away."

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