As a college freshman, I was a teenager in love. I felt I had met my soul mate, that we would be together - or at least I thought we eventually would be together forever...How well I remember those emotional times!
The problem? He kept telling me that he had not dated enough, but he asked me out my entire freshman year (his junior year.) I felt free to date others because of his comments, and I did date at least a couple of others.
Sophomore Year (his Senior), he did choose to date others. I - being the martyr - chose not to the first semester...I was bound and determined to wait for him. The next semester I did date and ended up meeting the man I would end up marrying (another story!)
We remained friends and although he had been regularly seeing a girl that lived across the street from my sorority, he asked me to his graduation...At that time he assured me that he still loved me, BUT he told me that he had asked the girl he had been dating to wear his fraternity pin and she refused him. He told me that he had not asked me because for me it would have been more serious - more like getting engaged and he wasn't ready for that. He told me that he had asked her because it would not have been a serious thing, that she was just a party girl.... Go figure!
He went away to grad school and I transferred to a school in the same state. We saw each other regularly but I was still in contact with the other guy too. They knew about each other.
I decided to move back to be with the second guy. My first love asked me to marry him. It was what I wanted more than anything, and I knew that I would always love him, BUT at 20 I turned him down. I knew that he was not really ready to settle down and that he was asking just so he would not lose me to the other fella. I felt that he might later resent me for tying him down. The second reason: He was an only child and although she was wonderful to me in person, she said things behind my back...At 20 I knew that I did not need this for a mother-in-law.
I married the other fella - a HUGE mistake, but another story. I never stopped thinking about my first love.
He never stopped thinking about me either and he never married...Decades later we reunited and he asked me again to marry him. Did I love him? Yes, and I always will. Did I marry him? No. Will I? No. As much as I will always love him and as much as I always thought we'd marry and be together, I realized that I have not been "in love" with him for a very long time.
I have passed the half century (sounds old, doesn't it) mark in my life happily single; but I think I may have just found the one real and true love of my life - and time will tell how it will work out....As long as there is breath, there is HOPE!!!