When the time was/is right
He and I should have been in each others lives much sooner than we were.
We met a little over a year ago, I was in a relationship and my friend was interested in him. So I didn't bother even having interest in him at first. Eventually I became single again and he re-expressed interest in me. So we went on a date.
But I wasn't looking for a relationship and wasn't meant to stay in town very long, so we decided against a relationship. But it might as well have been one and by the time I was about to leave I wanted him to be mine.
I left and then he asked me out. It was wonderful, I was so happy and about to fall in love, but there were problems. I was far and we couldn't stop fighting. So we broke up.
We stayed friends and at first talked about getting back together but then we felt like that wasn't an opption, but I still wanted him.
I came back home for a bit and we acted like we were dating again but still it wasn't offical so I called him out and I stopped talking to him till I could get over it.
and get over it I did. Until he came back into my life and asked me back out again. but it wasn't the same. The passion the thing that kept me to him was gone... but where had it gone?
We dated for another three months and now here we are. I am not in love and neither is he, but I want him I want only him. And I could fall in love but... what was about to be there the first time wasn't there the second time.
and now I'm sick all the time, my head pounds my heart races and my stomic gurgles, and if i am not meant to fall in love with him why all this, why couldn't we stay away then, why didn't it happen and why did he have to give up on me again?