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      Weird...

     


When I was 20 going on 21 I met this guy, through a friend, her cousin. She had always told me about him, and he sounded cool, but I was not prepared for the way I felt the first time I clapped eyes on this guy. So weird. I felt something , VERY STRONG. Looking back, I'm not sure what it was. He seem to feel it too, We had this thing, there was ...this energy, this quiet, intense, exchange.

He was a virgin at the time and so was I, and as I understood it, he did not have very much experience with girls. He was so cute. Back then, I was kind of picky, and chased. (Not the case anymore!!!...just kidding) I was not boy crazy growing up, like a lot of my girlfriends, and I have strange, (and interesting) taste in men. Not too many people understand me. He was so much what I had been looking for really. Even though, it's been years, looking back. It's like he stepped out of my subconscious mind.

He was well read, spent all his life, alone, watching artsy little movies, etc. He was funny in a self deprecating sort of way, he was depressed (like me), and artistic, he had low self esteem, he kinda rocked. No wonder I freaked out when he rejected me!! The way he looked at me, kinda predatory, but very deep...for someone who was so shy, he seem to be very in touch with those instincts, ..know what I mean? He was dark, like a deep, black sea, or something. He had a very intense energy.

Maybe that's why I liked him, cus, he was kinda scary, kinda manly, sexy, towards me. I don't know! Who knows!! It's probably because he was so smart.

I'm sure he's been a huge hit with women since I seen him last.

That was the problem, I was naive about men, and life. I didn't have too much experience either. I couldn't handle it, I was very childish (and he said so). He was a dork too though, and he was arrogant! Aw well. The brief affair ended disasterously, and I became known as the stalker over the next year, and a half. TeHee. But I really wasn't stalking him, really I wasn't....anyways...I entered a really bad, and trying period in my life, and I probably would have been able to handle those feelings better, if It had been in another time. There are other bizarre, and strange details I will not add here to this story.

What's sad, is I don't think he cared too much for me, or maybe he did,

maybe he did a little.



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