This is a story about a friend of mine. I love her dearly and feel as if her story needs to be told to as many people as will listen. She was a very sad girl most her life and she never really had anyone to relate to due to her hard circumstances. Her parents were addicts and this left her with few people who could possibly understand what she was going through.
She longed for someone, anyone to give a damn about her. She would hope and wish that someday a person would come along who would understand her and love her for who she is, even though she was a little messed up and had a habit of crying over everything and nothing.
One day her prayers were answered.
She met a boy. She met a boy who was just like her. Lonely and misunderstood. They got along instantly.
For a year they were together, only friends of course. and in this year they went through everything together. Deaths, break ups, they both had junkies for parents so whenever things got hard they would lean on each other and cry into each others arms. She was in love for the first time in her life.
But how do you let your best friend know something so profound?
This was a love she had never felt before, deeply consuming, confusing and all encompassing. This love bordered obsession. She thought about him every hour of every day. She would daydream about running away together and living like two free birds entwined in an everlasting love. all along never letting him know of her deep feelings.
Things began to change after a year. He started to withdraw from her. They barely spent anytime together anymore.
He started to use drugs.
He would drink himself into the hospital.
He began to cut and burn himself.
Never did he tell her of these things until she would see the cuts or burns.
Until she would call him and he would be so off his face he wouldn't even know his own name.
With his abscence she began to slip further and further into depression. She would self harm and later he would introduce her to drugs. Things became out of control. She loved him more than her own life and continued to be blind to his cruelties. He would leave her waiting for hours in the city all alone...just waiting. he started to act as if he didn't care about her and as if his distance was caused by her. She would constantly question him as to why he even spent time with her anymore because she felt so worthless.
This would upset him so much he stopped giving her an answer. This in turn made her feel that he was only using her for drugs
This continued until one night they found themselves wrapped in there first kiss together. She was estatic. he was semi drunk and stoned at the time.
This would be his excuse later on when she inquired as to why he kissed her. The random acts of making out continued for months until she couldn't take it anymore. She asked why they hadn't gone out yet and if he wasn't intersted why did he kiss her? Once again she didn't get an answer from him. So she continued with loving him and sacreficing for him.
One night she was feeling unbeleiveably hurt by his apathy towards her and she text him saying goodbye and goodluck in life. and geuss what?
He didn't care.
she was doing good giving up her worst addiction until a freak storm passed through the area tearing off roofs of houses and injuring people. so consumed with worry and fear she text him to see if he was ok.
He was fine but she would not be. She stayed in contact and eventually got him to admit to her that what she did hurt him. She of course felt guilty.
Things went back to how they were before. sad and unfufilling.
Out of the blue one day he tells her that he is moving out of the state. This crushes her. She is going on a family holiday in three days and by the time she gets back he would be gone. She tells him that she wants to see him the day before she leaves. Her plan is to tell him how she feels.
The next day she tries to call him. no answer. she tries and tries for days but no answer. Finally the night before she leaves . His phone is answered.
All she hears is him yelling "go away! you stupid slut and stop calling me!!"
He had never spoken to her like that. So disstraught and tearful at this outburst, she takes a razor to her wrists. She dies with the phone in her bloody hand.
He wasn't the one who had answered the phone. He had lost his phone at a concert the last night they had spoken. Someone else had found it.
HIs plan was to see her and tell her why he has been so out of control. He had bi polar. He also loved her with all his heart.
This is a true story. It all happend to a close friend of mine.
Just goes to show that now is always the best time to tell someone you love them...You should never wait.