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      Always In My Heart

     


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He was the best thing that came into my life.  It was a strong love and we were the best of friends. I had some bad news of my health and I couldn't tell him that I would never be able to love him as before. So I lead him to believe that I was interested in some one else. I kept the truth from him so ashamed of my illness and I didn't want his pitty or to have him see me less of a woman than he had know.  He had always told me of the saying "if you love something set it free", and "if it comes back it was meant to be".  I set him free even though it has been over ten years he has been on my mind every day of my life.  One day he came for me and stood and watched and staired at me while I was with a male friend.  We were at a dance and as I passed him by, I asked him what he was doing there?   He answered to me that he had come back for me.  My heart sunk, I frooze, I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him I Love him.  But I could only think of the horror I had endured with my illness. He stood around for a while waiting for me to go to him. My girlfriend that was with me would say talk to him but I didn't know how to tell him.  You see he had thought at the beginging of my illness I had gotten pregnant by him and he noticed that my stomach had been swollen and he touched my stomach almost like caressing what he had imagined. No I wasn't pregnant .  My doctor had already explained that I had cancer. I would have to have hysterectomy.  I would not be able to love him as before.  The scares on my body would be there forever.  So I let him think that I didn't love him so he would be free to find a woman who could have his children and be happy with for the rest of his life.  Even though I love and will always love him and what we once shared could never again come to be. I feel his presence every day in my heart and soul. At nignt on a clear night I gaze at the stars like we use to when we first met and think of one another. That;s when I feel so close to him and often dream of him. When morning comes I just feel as though our hearts were together.

Always and Forever is what I wrote him on the bathroom mirror when he would get up to shave.

Always and Forever Baby.......................................

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