change your shirt! wear the dress that i just bought! mom said. i was 10 back then and i yelled NO ma! i like what im wearing now, then ran outside. i was with my best friend joan we were playing with her rabbits waiting for her dad to go to work, after he had gone we were the only ones left then we would lock all the doors and get a pack of marlboro from her fathers closet, her dad would never notice cause he got alot of it.we would lock ourselves in the cr and smoke till we cant smoke no more.. we even play with her dad's shave and shaving cream and shave our chin.(lol) we were the best of friends.one afternoon we were playing on the streets when suddenly someone threw a stone and hit joan on the head. she cried angrily asking who threw it and this kid mark shouted me!, you got a problem with it? joan shook her head and cried , i was so angry with what he did but he was bigger than me when joan was about to turn her back and walk.. i punched the fuckin ahole right on his left eye.he cried and punched me back on the face.. my tears rolled out of my eyes with anger and hurt but i got the courage to punch him back on the head and on his stomach, he fell on the ground and cried. from what i did and what i see,i realized that no one can bully me and my friends. from, then on everytime my girl friends were bullied or teased on, i was the one to face those stupid boys and pick a fight with them. when i was growing up all boys call me tomboy, it hurts me to hear it but i didnt mind.when i was in 1st year highschool i get along with all of students in school. then i met GIAN, he was a friend of my big brother, a basketball varsitarian, volleyball varsitarian and a complete gentleman. and i, was a football,basketball and softball varsitarian. we knew each other but we arent friends i really had a big crush on him.. on practice we would see each other and tease me to play 1 on 1 with him.. but i was so shy and would only said no thanks and walk away. one night the phone rang, when i answered it, it was him! but he was looking for my big brother but my bro was out and he said ok thanks and bye.after 5mins. the phone rang again.. and still,it was him! and i answered he's not here yet ,he anwered i know,can we talk? we were talking about basketballs and stuffs in school.there was no sweet talk at all for 30mins. so i decided to hang up on him. maybe because he wanted to be friends with me because i was like cool with all the boys,i got a lot of boy friends . in fact i got 3 boy bestfriends and 2 girl bestfriends. and i was right he was just being nice to me and wanted to get to know me better because he's got a crush on my friend.. i felt sad and hurt about it. after a month he heard that i was crushing on him b4. he didnt care coz they were together that time. i was nothing to him.and i accepted the fact that it was nothing. i focused on my basketball and football practices.then interschools came. school to school competing. i played great everyone appreciates me but the more i played everyone seems to think i was really a tomboy, because every after game all girls from every school would cheer and hug me. everytime im in a game a song request would play and the dj will wish me luck from mary. it turned out that everyone seems to think that i really am a tomboy and my best friend heard that gian was talking bout me and said i told you so! she's a lesbian! she's beautiful, fit and all but she's one of the guys! and laughed his ass off.
3years passed. he graduated and i became the team captain of every girl sport in school.still no lovelife and sad.but i got plenty of friends and my 2 girl bestfriends and 2 boy bestfriends found their way out of our friendship so i only had my sport and mark my bestfriend(whom i kicked his ass when we were 10 yrs old). he would tease me with evey girl that cheered me on.then when i was about to play when a gurl i know fom other school approached me and asked for my number i was about to play and that i didn't mind her.that day, i sprained my ankle i cant do anything not to be bored. so i just kept texting everyone on my phonebook. there was a name in my phonebook named MARIE i dont know any MARIE except for my bestbudd's crush. so i texted her pretending that i was mark(1 of my bestfriend) hi MARIE,how are u? and replied hey! im fine! bout u?.. we bacame txtmates. mark, knowing that i was courting marie for her was so excited. but evrytym mark tries to txt marieon his own number,marie wouldnt txt back. then one night my phone rang.. it was marie,not knowing what to do. i answered and told her that mark was out and that he left his phone. i know that its you STACY and that you're just pretending to be mark, i like u,i really do but now.. i love you. YOU! not mark. i know you're just shy thats why u pretended.. now, answer me, do you feel the same way?. i was shocked! speechless! and dont know what to do. so i hanged up the phone and think. think about what would mark do? will he be angry and all... i got up to go to mark's place. i sat down waiting for him to finish his dinner and yelled SHE KNOWs!!! yes! and i know too! he replied. me,speechless again! its time to be yourself!! be what you are i know you and i know that you want this to. this is for you... your gonna get the chance to feel love like any other person,he said. i stood up, cried and walked away.
a month had passed i didn't talked to anyone i ignored everyone. mark always text me that he was sorry that he really did thought i was one of the guys but wouldnt have the guts to tell him/them. i just replied does this answered your question? i really am not!your not a friend you judged me!,thats the last message i texted him.
everyday for the past two months mark wanted to talk to me.. explain and apologize.. til he got tired and stopped and we graduate.
i saw him on the first day of college. we were on the same school. but still i ignored him.me, still being a varsitarian.on my 3rd yr in college i met JOE he was cool,plays soccer and a hotty on the campus.and still i can see mark with his girlfriend cuddling around. one day after practice while waiting for joe, mark showed up and kissed me,apologized and said i love you thats why i need to know before! but now i can see uv'e found yourself and your happy... i am sorry. and now we can live our lives knowing the truth.. and he left. that was the last time we ever talked. i burst out in tears and got my heart broken.. i did'nt know what to do..
after that year i heard he transfered but i got to see him before he left.. coz he waved goodbye with a flying kiss riding the bus that summer. im 21 now. but still i cannot forget that afternoon,it was just like yesterday. he will always be that special person.. if i just knew before.i will wait..(single again)
i am selfish
i am wrong
i am right