It's too late now
well, being a thirteen year old doesn't make me an expert on love. but wanna know something? it taught me a lot.
me and my friends kept saying we won't fall in love and end up crying because it would make us look too damn stupid.
but eventually, i did fall in love.
my friends and i would usually talk about Kai, my bestfriend. and we would laugh when we remember all his mistakes. but one night, we were talking, and he was so quiet. naturally he would be the one to be the noisiest, but not that night. i kept staring at his face, trying to find out the reason. but i just can't. and then he spoke up,
"hey guys. wanna know something funny?"
and all of us said"yeah sure"
"i've got a girlfriend."
we all laughed because we mad a promise to each other never to have any commitment until we graduate.so we demanded what made him brake the promise. he said the girl was really nice and he ended up asking her out. i said" hey congrats dude. guess you won't have the time to hang with us now huh?"
i tried not to care, but i can't because he was like my brother. he didn't spend the lunchtime with us anymore because he was to busy with his girlfriend.
i ended up thin because i didn't eat anymore. i only ate biscuits. he got worried and spent more time with me, but his girlfriend threatened me to stay away from her boyfriend. i didn't listen to her, and still spent time with my bestfriend.
me and Kai spent more time with each other more than necessary, making his girlfriend jealous. but i realized something, that i love kai more than just a brother. i didn't know how to tell him, until i just kissed him and ran away. the next day, i learned he went to Okinawa to spent more time with his uncle. on his way home, his plane crashed, and he wasn't one of the survivors. i cried myself to sleep, and hoped i would just die.
the next day, my mom gave me a letter addressed from Okinawa. i opened it and it read,
"hey Suri. sorry if i left in such a rush. i wrote this letter a thousand times and i couldn't muster up enough courage to send it to you. but i did get the courage, from your warm and gentle kiss last night. i hope to let you know i broke up with Allecto, and i wanna start a new life with you. when i get home, will you go out with me? i hope i can make you face tomorrow with your brightest smile.
ps. i love you
i cried and thought how much God must've hated me, and why God would take Kai away from me, even before we had time to spend in each others arms. i must have been a really terrible person, not allowed to have happiness. i hate myself, because i cna't protect the ones i love, especially Kai.