When a slap isn't painfull anymore..
I've been wit this girl for over 6 years. things were so wonderfull. we use to be an ear to hear, an eye to see, a heart to feel a mind to care and my arms to protect her from all danger. it took a wrong ending. she went overseas to pursue her studies. im kept back here..finance isn't really a problem. it was more to fear of leaving my family behind and going somewhere far to study n be with her. i would rather spend my time with my family as my parents are old. i mean she knows that.but as time went by. we were slowly drifting apart. i found out she has been lying to me so much. i forgave her. for years of being together maybe she felt she missed to much in life. i forgave her giving her another chance with more freedom to feel more comfortable with her life there as she has no one there to care for her but her friends. til i found out there was a guy involved. and they were sexually involved. i broke down. a guy like me. i broke down so badly. i felt my world was just like a fairy tale though the tale has sentences with full stops, but to me it was like the whole book was over. i mean come on, if u have a sexual relationship, it proves one thing. i'm now no one. sexual relationship is meant for the one whom u love. it acts as a license or a permit to say that we're in a relationship and that its meant for me to be different from other love, for eg: family love or love for a friend.. how could she do it? yet i was so in love wit her that i gave her another chance telling her begging her never to hurt me..and i was just thinking to my self. we were in love for more than 6 years sharing everything, so close to each other, we even planned our kids names if it was a boy or a girl wat would it be.. and i had to beg her to be sincere to me begging her never to hurt me that way.. it was so painful i kept it in me.and i took her back. giving her more space thinking that it was cuz i didn't treat her as well as the new guy was. it was common sense. every guy wants to get in their pants, they would be so sweet just to get what they want. but she should know what are her limits.i didn't treat her badly, i treated her like my love. i took care of her more den i took care of my self. there was a period of a few months, i had to starve my self, having just one meal a day just so i could save enough money to take my love for a great expensive dinner. i took care of her more den my self. and all she can say is ' i'm sorry'. yet i took her back in my life. then one day she comes telling me that she cant take it anymore. yes we do fight every now and then. but wat relationship doesn't involve fighting. i scold her because i care for her. i advice her because i care for her. i stop her from doin things because i dont want her regretting and telling me sorry again. i wasnt stoppping her from having a life. i was stopping her from doing the wrong things.
All she wanted was to be happy herself, enjoy herself, being selfish. all these temporary entertainment are all temporary! but me??!! i am the one gonna be holding ur hand when she falls and need someone to carry her back on her feet..her friends would die for her?? would come running to her if she needs help?? no!! her friends are only with her for less than a year, i was with her for more than 6 years.. who would care more for u? who would donate their organs for u? who would stand in front a bullet for you?? me!!! without a doubt me! and i wont regret doing it!because i love u. and now she wants me out of her life because she wants her life to be free from any commitments. what a reason..well i said fine. if its wat u chose.. sure. telling her thanks for a great time together. being so sweet and nice wit a small hope she would break down n think about how nice i am and i was to her. but all i got was a thank you too..and now i have no one to share my pain or my life with.. it has always been with her. now she's not here anymore by my side. i hope and pray she would come back to me very soon. i hope to those who read this would pray for me too. who ever u are, ur prayers would be in my heart. others may say u deserve better, but how can i be me without her. pls don't say im not praying for u cuz its wrong. but pray for me because i cant take this. i have no one to talk to. no one. i will pray that to all those in here find a great someone back in your life. WHEN A SLAP ISN'T PAINFUL ANYMORE ESPECIALLY IF ITS FROM A LOVED ONE...