I remember years ago, my husband of one year sent me home to live with my mom. I had been diagnosed with neurotic depression. he said it was best if I healed first before continuing the marriage. I agreed. whatever he wanted was fine. I was always going into rages, having fits, crying, getting jealous, mostly I was just empty, and terribly alone and sad inside. so he drove me to a bus stop. he looked sad, and a little disgusted. it was 3 months before we even talked and I missed him like hell. after 8 months he came to see me. and after one year to the day- he said he was ready for me to come home.
A month after I was home, he told me he had seen someone, but, it was nothing serious. I was really upset for a while but tried to gain composure with the situation. and after a few weeks I did.
He wanted what was best for me, and told me he loved me. I was so surprised he hadn't left me. but he stood by my side. he promised that if I went back to the same condition that I was in before he would see about having me put into a ward for awhile. I knew he was serious, and believed he was right.
I talked to my doctor about it one day. My doctor nearly flew off her rocker. She said my husband was wrong. She said my condition was never as bad as I imagine. it was not severe, and that my idea of what kind of state I was in was inflated by my husband who was emotionally abusing me. she said he needed to see a counsellor because he might have a problem with anger, he might be the reason I was so sad. Especially if he is telling me things like he will put me away in a ward somewhere. she said my state was clinical, and not even a big deal. she asked if he seemed to enjoy treating me this cruel way.
I didn't believe her. why would my husband be cruel to me. I refused to think he would ever hurt me. so I stopped seeing my doctor.
Stuart, my husband, continued to treat me like an isolated dog with rabies in front of people. it was embarrassing. he started acting to me like I was still crazy, and that I was pushing him away. and I started to see that there was nothing wrong with me.
I found out I was pregnant. and I started to see that Stuart was the crazy one. the next December I had triplet sons. Bart, Gary, and Sonny....my angels. They kept me sane.
Stuart had begun to act like I couldn't be trusted alone with the children. I tired to leave him, but I feared he would get custody of the babies. so like every woman who feels trapped...I stayed.
My sons turned 6, and we were still living the same life. I was the victim of rape by Stuart. this man had completely changed. I found out I was pregnant again, and this time decided to leave. this baby was not a product of consensual sex. but I kept her.
I filed for divorce, moved home, and gave birth to my daughter Gracie.
I am remarried now. I have been married to this man for 11 years. we have a child of our own together, Matt.
We are happy, and very much in love. I realize now what true love is. I know I am healthy, and my relationship is too. Brent would never try to make me feel crazy or like he wouldn't support me if I was.
We have a beautiful life together. as for Stuart.....his kids go to visit him, but only once a year. they don't like their father, or who he's become. and he won't seek help. he just keeps getting worse. he's completely delusional now.
He was remarried as well- but was divorced again, got engaged, and even she ran away.
I wish Stuart could be happy again one day. it would be nice. but, as for me, I know I deserve to be happy, and know things worked out for the better.
Ladies, never feel trapped in a situation and stay in a position that is unhealthy for you or your kids. leave! leave! leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, there is no reason to stay and be treated like that. it isn't love, so it isn't worth it!
I am a counsellor at a women's shelter myself now. I realize that the words I wouldn't believe from my counsellor were the most true I ever could.
So, here's to my new life. life turns in ways you would never expect. it's great. it's crazy. just when you think all you have worked for is gone......it's true- a door never closes where a window isn't opened. just look for that window... and make a better life for yourself.