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      I thought that I was right to be unhappy


I'm 51 years old. My whole life has been a bad one So I thought that was the way it was supposed to be.

My child life was very bad, I was treated very badly by my Mom and My step Father It was torture. I married to get out of the house and My step Father always said he was going to kill me. My marriage wasn't all that good, He also treated me bad. So I thought that was the way life was. The only two good things that came out of it were my two girls. I treated my girls so good as I never wanted them to ever go through what I did, I also wanted them to have a childhood. I was never able to have a childhood. At the age 5 I knew how to make two kinds of Baby formula, my Mom had seven kids Plus me, but I didn't belong to him, (I came from a one night stand.) I pretty much raised my brothers and sister. I wasn't able to talk right nor was I able to spell or read properly. I went through my whole life wanting to die. I tried twice the 2nd time they put me in the hospital for about six months. My girls were the only thing that kept me going. I could go on but it's not that good, it's all sad.


Feb.14.1999 my friends set me up on a blind date, which I really didn't want because I never wanted to be hurt again! But I went on the date.

This man workes at a college, very smart. I told my friend that she was crazy, cos for me I'm not smart nor do I know how to read or spell. But was I so wrong We are married now.

We were married July 21, 2000. I never in my life had a man like him. I wish I could put a letter in here that I wrote him the day we got merry and read it out loud for the first time ever. You see I never had anyone take time with me to help me to learn. He is teaching me how to read, spell and my grammar. He makes me feel like I'm someone and he shows me so much Love and understanding. I never had that before. All I wanted was for someone to love me. He's always there for me when I need to talk or a shoulder to cry on. When I have my bad nightmares he's right there holding me and trying to take the pain away. My dr. and my husband Dan said they can't believe after all that I been through that I turned out to be a very loving person.

I just can't believe at the age 49 I was able to know what it was like to be really happy and believe me I am so very happy and I feel so very much in love and he shows me everyday how much he loves me. what a great feeling.

I know this isn't done good, but I'm learning.


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