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      Forbidden love

     


bsp; Before I proceed tothe main topic let me first give info bout myself, Iím just a simple girl, notso typical, Iím not a self conceited person, you can judge me easily, you maycall me stupid or what but I tell you, strictly and frankly I live to what Ithink is best and what is good for my self, I donít let anyone manipulate whatI wanted in life and mostly I let God be the center of every decision I made. Now...I would like to share my story about my affair with a married man, Iím sure noone can ever tell the feelings unless youíre on the situation, I still canítbelieve that Iím going to have this kind of relationship, I fall for him out ofloneliness and because of a failed relationship. I was love struck for a manthat I owe to have for just a matter of time and knew for sure that he willnever be mine for the rest of my life, I must say that he was one of kind man indeed,blessed with physical manhood that every girls should attract he is also fullof sincere and passionate love that lasts for a lifetime that every girlsshould ever dreamed and long for. Well we've known each other for almost 3years already since weíve met on a burial of a common relative, when we startedto introduce each other company, we do first admit to ourselves that thereís astrange feeling for both of us from then on, at first it was so hesitant for meto accept what I am feeling for him, he was started to express his feelingswith me, he usually gave compliments in every good thing he sees in me. As thedays goes by Iím starting to like him as what he like and love to be with me, Inever knew that our simple companionship lead us to a more deeper relationship,we started to have our first date way back May 22, 2005 (if Iím not mistaken) , we do watch movie, atetogether, had our first kiss, and some usual scenario on a first date, he wasmy very first forbidden affair that I have had (and I wish the last) for myentire life, we didnít see each other for a year after our first date in 2005,but we do continuously texting and giving updates to each other every singlemoment we have done separately in our daily lives. After a long awaited date wehad plan, our very first intimate moment together that Iíll never forget washappened on September 13, 2007 he fetched me somewhere near SM**** one ridefrom home, the feeling was so intense by then, coz of the thought that our relationshipis really wrong, but since feeling is weigh much than the thought of guilt itnever bothers me instead I much feel more excited and thrilled about ouragainst all odds affair. I never demand for his love and affection, I taught myself already that I have to be contented on any given time he had for me Idonít need to compete nor to compare his love for me and to his family, A fewstolen moments is all that we have coz I know I just owe his time, his love,his attention and specially his (heart) for his beloved wife and kids. I amfully aware on this kind of love we had. I knew how much he love and cared forhis family, I know also that I am the least of his priority but I know for surethat I am one of those person he turns to whenever he is feeling down and needsomeone to be with (vise versa ), I guess thatís the role I am playing. He was so courteous, gentleman and a verypassionate lover, he treated me really special and I feel very flattered abouthis actions & I appreciate every little thing he does for me. I treasuredevery moment that we have, the feelings we had for each other is very hard toexplain yet so easy to express and be shown. Our first intimate date, wasextraordinary, we went to certain mall (not to mention), watch movie and atetogether, after an hour of strolling at the mall, the private moment for usstarted when suddenly we both decided to go to a more secured place wherein noone is around but just the two of us. We had our intimate moment, fixed emotionsI had during those times, excited, thrilled, worried, and nervous, Guilt, and intense,that was the 1st time I must say I felt I have butterfly on my stomach coz ofthe unexplained feelings I have inside. He chose a cozy place for both of us, it is one of the most romantic place I had everbeen, he started to caress my body, we had our very first French kiss together,my arms around him we held each other tight like it will lasts forever, and we feelmore the pleasure. I really have a great feeling with this guy, and Iímstarting to fall for him especially every time we have an intimate moment together.Often times Iím embracing all the things that comes along between us. I felthow much he cared and how hard he tries to express his love for me. One time Iremember before entering into this kind of affair I had ask and prayed to Godthat he give me someone who can ease the boredom I felt inside a complicatedrelationship with my current boyfriend, then God really answer my prayers andhe brings this man to my life, he gives me an outlet for a lost love, I evenspoiled my feelings for this guy though I know time will come that Iím going toend this up, Thereís also One time I remember when we once talking on the phonehe ask if Iím going to cry when I left him I didnít utter any word I was idle for a second, then he saidÖ me Ö I will,Ö and also do I (of course)Öcoz Ö ď In one point ofmy life I learned to love someone like you and in time I am going tolose someone who will never be mine forever Ē. The feeling is mutual avery unusual for me knowing that Iím loving someone that I owe to have even injust a span of time. There are many times I attempt and ask him to avoid me, cozI felt that I am starting to fall for him deeply... but then I still keep myfeet on the ground, still manage where to stand and I keep myself on the righttrack and know how to follow the rules for these forbidden love, in able for meto easily escape just in case time will come that we have to reach the end andno other way for us but to let go. I know what I felt for him is right, I cannever chose the person I love, it just happened, and I believe it happens witha good purpose, the feeling is right but the person is wrong since he isalready committed and thatís the irony of life, its my own prerogative to lovehim though its merely wrong at least in some point of my life I knew Iímcapable of loving. I am overwhelmed about what I am feeling for him. I never thought that I would come into thismore complicated relationship, what I have just thought now is that I am goingto learn from my own mistakes, and itwill never take me less as a person, instead it makes me more Strong anddetermined to get what I wanted in life. Fate gives a twist in my life and Iknew I can escape to this relationship and there is nothing to regret about it,coz I stand up for those I love and for whatI believe is right for me, I speak whatís on my mind and I wonít compromisewhat is in my heart. I just hope and prayed that I can be fortunate to get outon this situation without any regrets but a lesson to learn that I will cherishfor the rest of my life. I would always love to here some lyrics from a song Ö.ďHow could something so wrong feel so right all alongĒ ~ when all youknow is that you are just being in love and be loved and then in the end yourealize that you are both the victim of a wrong loveÖ Ē In this case I caníthelp but admit to myself the initial mistakes Iíve done, I know I amresponsible for all these, I know my limitations and I know that in everysituation thereís always a reason behind, I may not never know it now but soonI will in the right time. Again I learned to love someone who I will never growup with and never share the future with me, it really hurts I know but thereísnothing I can do, he will never be mine and I have to take all the grudges of abroken heart. He steals my heart and I am captured to fall for him. I donítknow until when Iím going to have these but I am sure once itís ended, he willalways be in my heart coz somewhere along the way we met and loved each otherwithout any regrets. Thatís it for nowÖ.coz Iím still on process of getting thebest way out. Finally, I madethe right decision I need to overcome all these and move on with my lifealthough itís so hard, tears suddenly falls down and I canít help myself but tolet my heart cried out for the pain I felt inside. October 11, 2008 is the dayI had planned to meet him, and for the very last time we had our intimatemoment together. I felt so sad by then as I letting him go. I learned to lovehim with all my heart. ďBabe, just want to let you know and as always you knewalready that I do love you and I will never forget someone like you. I will bemissing you. Iím glad and so happy being with you despite of the pain that thisrelationship caused me. One thing I would like to take this chance to thank youfor simply letting me part of your life even in just short span of time. Youwill always be in my heart as you were always told me. Thanks and may God grantus in everything we wish for and for what our hearts really desire. You will bealways included on my prayers, I love you so much and Iím going to miss every momentwe once sharedĒ. **I wish Icould see your facial reaction while reading these.End

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