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      Friendship..... and my hidden want

     


I said I wouldn't fall for guy friends.....because it's weird and I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship....... but for some reason (obviously) i like my friend...

 

If you are wondering when this happened it has been a few weeks....

We were in the same play together, I was the nerdy girl who had a thing for the tour guide..... he didn't feel the same way.......in the play...

 

At our practices we would always laugh and I would always nudge him and smile at him...... not really thinking much about him..... well.... other than the friend way.....

 

This was until last night...... the last showing of our play......we sped threw this play unlike the other one we did...... my part came when I was with him..... we switched off glasses..... .talked...... I shared my drink and bean burrito with him..... we laughed more........ after the play when we were getting changed I was fed up with all the ruccis in the girls changing room. It was filled with B.O. and no one brought deotoarnt. I refused to take one step near that door...... or even think about doing it.... so I changed in front of all the guys..... telling them not to look....

 

That's when I noticed him....... he changed really quick ( probably to get back to his family and friends) he was coming back to get some extra stuff when he turned and looked over at me...... my bare legs...... in a thong..... I was somewhat mortified but I felt comfortable with him looking at me......he smiled...... (this gave me a quick butterfly.... but it soon left me) all the other guys we geeking out about a girl changing in front of them...... i told them that if they even thought about looking at me......i'd punch them...... that's when the unthinkable happened.....my other friend Gabby (who was holding a shirt up around me so the guys couldnt get a look) announced that I was wearing a lingerie underwear..... the guys we disgusted except him..... he repsonded by saying " i have a sister...." i smiled and called back " and what does that have to do with anything...?" i then figured out what he meant....i giggled and hurriedly changed into my clothes..... soon after I was picked up by a relative and I hung out later with my cousin....... i read....... and thought..... and texted my friends...... and everything in between......  after about an hour and a half i dozed off..... i had an occasional nugde from my cousin telling me to wake up but I ignored him...... my parents picked me up about three hours later and we left for home.....

 

When we got home it was about two o'clock in the morning... I brushed my teeth, changed into my PJ's...... took my pillows and blankets.....and crashed out on my couch.... that's when it happened...

 

 (***DREAM**) well what i remember of it...

 

He walked toward me...... hugged me...... said he loved me...... tightened his grip..... he wasn't dating his girlfriend..... he broke up with her... he wanted to be with me.... and i wanted to be with him...... usually after these types of dreams.... i wake up in a cold sweat.... but i woke up smiling... then told myself not too...... and frowned...... what had i done...?

 

i can't explain it..... he and his girlfrined are so happy..... I don't want to break them up.... I dont want to ruin anything...... I just..... it's something different and I know I always say that.... but it's so true..... 



 

 

i want to make sence of this..... i've fallin for him..... but I DONT WANT HIM

 TO EVER  (WELL NOT VER) FIND OUT.....I WOULD BE DEVASTATED WITH REJECTION....

 

<3 Zzzzzzzzzzz

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