These are the text only pages from A Story To Share.Com, true stories of heartache and love. If you have been referred here by a search engine then click at the very bottom of the page to read hundreds of true stories of heartache and love.



      Yellow Rose...[first love]

     


I have this guy in the past where we were best of friends in everysingle way. We met when he transferred in our school. i used to dislikehim and really avoid him as much as I can but he was so persistent thatsoon enough, we became the closest of friends. He was a precious partof me and now, i don't even know if i could ever find those missingpieces.

We used to talk, laugh and understand each other. We havepetty quarrels but those were just for fun. It was in my elementarydays and for me, those days with him were like endless.

He wasreally my true best friend until he confessed to me that he had otherfeelings for me than just a close friend.His confession was written ina notebook and he let me read it. I was stunned by this confession buta part of me says I'm happy.

I really only see him as my closefriend. It was awkward after his confession but he pursued to meeveryday. We still used to eat lunch together, talk to each other andused to send messages on my phone just simply to say hi! and ask meconcerned questions. I wasn't a text fanatic but i always glance at myphone after school that lay beside my bed waiting for his message.

Idon't know why. it was just what i felt. There was a lot on pressure onme at school being an honored student but i didn't feel botheredbecause he simply was always there.

Sooner, i realized...

whenever he was around, i don't feel alone...

whenever he was around, i felt secure...

whenever he was around, i could always have a smile on my face...

knowing he'll always be beside me, that'll he'll never change and will always be my friend.

If that's what they call love, but i don't want to admit it.

Onmy 12th birthday, i arrived in school in the afternoon to take my finalexams. His friend, JC was still in the room and he gave something tome. it was a plain letter folded in two.

WHO WOULD BOTHER TO SEND ME A LETTER?

Icuriously opened the letter and it was from him. he wished me a happybirthday and that he hopes I'll never change. He hadn't really had anice hand writing but those few words struck my heart. I was head overheels of joy.

On top of the letter, was a beautiful, yellow rose all radiant.

That i recalled, that he once asked me what was my favorite flower and i said it was a yellow rose.

From that moment, i wanted to say to him i felt the same way.

Ilooked for him in the campus but he wasn't there. Maybe, he alreadywent home. Until, i reached the gate and saw him there standing withhis shoulder bag and with his usual, gentle face.

"Thank you," that was all I can say at that moment. then, i walked away with his letter and yellow rose in my hands.

I glanced at his direction one more time and surprisingly , he was still there.

"What aren't you going home?" I asked.

"Iwas waiting for your goodbye," he said. that was my most memorablebirthday. i thought that having a memorable birthday would have a lotof cakes. a party and everyone else buying gifts for me. I thought ittakes a bouquet of roses, a bunch of expensive gifts to make yourbirthday memorable but at that moment

i realized, all it takes is a simple greeting and this yellow rose from someone special to touch my heart.

whenwe were in high school, i wished we would be still classmates. i lookedover the class list but his name wasn't there. he was i anothersection. after that day, we haven't talked to another just simply a oneword... HI... none came out of my mouth whenever I came across him. wesimply looked down on the ground as we passed each other on the lobby.several weeks have passed and i couldn't handle it, i confronted himbut all he said was he just didn't want to. I was hurt but i chose tojust accept the fact that this friendship would soon end.

a part of me says this awkwardness would just pass,

but a part of me says this is how we would end...

a part of me doesn't want to care,

but a part of me reserves a space inside my head...

a part of me cries every single day,

but a part of me wants to be really brave...

a part of me says there's still hope,

but a part of me says this is going to be goodbye...

monthspassed of avoidance, months past without him... i used to know him butall of this just changed... and it was the last day of school but stillno words came out of our mouth... we were sitting beside each other onour recognition day, i , the third honor walked on the stage smilingbut when i took my seat,

all i felt was sadness and longing cause i know even how close we are in sitting each other...

no matter we are beside each other...

i know there's an invisible distant gap that would never be crossed by one another...

summerhad passed and we are in our 2nd year, my heart almost skipped a beatas I watched the class list. still, i was in a different class withhim... in my first year, i felt bad for it but now we aren'tclassmates, i was more thankful of it... i want to ask the Lord why mylife is like this but maybe its just the mere fact that we aren't meantto be...

then, in our first day of class, someone told me he hasa girlfriend and that i saw her sitting near me, the girl he courted. idon't want to describe her but i don't know why i wanted to cry inside.though, i wanted to break down, i teased her about him even more... ibecame funnier everyday i get hurt... i don't want to show other peoplewhat i feel thinking maybe i want him.

no!! its not... if i were to do the right thing, i would gladly surrender and make both of them happy...

i would even find a way to strengthen their relationship.

butwhy can't I? why can't I? i know he has no feelings for me, nofriendship, no love, or even just a feeling of me... sometimes i wanthim to hate me so at least, I'll have a petite space on his mind...

iam just a shadow in his eyes because all he can see was her. they wereclassmates with the girl and started to have a relationship last summer.

allhe says about me is that I'm smart and responsible. all he says isnothing but nod... no! i'm not flattered... i don't want thosecompliments... all i want is to bring back what he used to be... whathe was when we were still friends...

everyday, when everyonewould soon go home, I'm just in a corner seeing him bringing anumbrella for her, carrying her bag and smiling at her. maybe, he trulyloves her... he has found the right girl while I, am just dwelling inthe past.. without knowing where to escape...

i got used withtheir sweetness, all the people's teases while i have no one to talk toeven to my closest friends. i just... don't want them to see my trueweakness...

in the middle of the school year, we had our verylong conversation after 1 year of no communication... after 1 year ofignoring each other... we decided to go early to school on a saturdayat 6am to discuss everything but when i arrived, we just sat besideeach other saying nothing. honestly, i wanted to tell him everythingbut I swallowed all my words...

i cried in one corner not facing at him while he felt sorry for all of it... he didn't know i was suffering from all this pain..

i just remembered, he said,

"You'renot worth my tears..." when he said those four words, i decided to moveon... bury our friendship, our past in forgetfulness... it was hard atfirst but I was dignified to do this for myself...

and i didit... he has his own happiness... i have my life... but i don't know ifi ever had that kind of happiness where you find the right one... thatwhen you looked into his eyes, you feel the love...

no, eversince i buried the past, i became numb... robotic in actions... alwayswearing my very unnatural smile in front of others...

i don't ever want to be hurt again...

that was it...

inour 3rd year, i looked at the list and sighed of relief... we stillweren't classmates... then i found out that he and her girlfriend brokeup... indeed, in my 2nd year, we were kinda friends with her girlfriendbut she didn't know anything about our past. i don't want her to know...

bothof them have been emotional... then my friends went over our house fora project and we were chatting with him... just chatting about ourproject until one of my friends interfered...

they asked him of what he thinks of me and he still had the same answer... smart, does her homework,

myfriend bugged him for asking him questions about me... to tell himanything about us... but he didn't know whom he was talking to...

my friend just wanted to confront him about his big change of personality and at the same time, ask him about me...

he didn't really want to tell anything and they almost gave up...

i was in front of our computer... trying not to read his words... i'm afraid to face the truth..

my friend almost gave up until he said...

"I'll tell you one thing.."

" Her favorite flower is a yellow rose..."

thatwasn't the answer i expected. I thought it would be the most harsh andthe most painful words he'll say about me to other persons...

but he just said about the incident about the yellow rose...

foralmost 4 years of not talking to each other, with all the awkwardnessand confrontation and all the drama and moving on with each one ofus... for he has her and i have my very hectic and strict life...

Ididn't expect him to remember the thing he did to me on my birthday.actually, in my 2nd year, i totally forgot that we used to be the bestof friends, that we were close, that on my 12th birthday, he was thefirst one to remember my birthday, write me a scribbled and hurriedletter as he gave me a yellow rose.

i kinda regretted that i torehis letter for me and he knew that i tore it into pieces but what can ido? i don't want to have any memories of him... or anyone that'll justhurt me... and most of all, i don't want to meddle in theirrelationship so i chose to be just silent and forget about the wholedamn thing...

they were times when i couldn't help but feel lonely when i see him pass by but our distance is now REALITY...

at this time, we are just friends in the internet but everyday in our school, we are just merely STRANGERS...

I'm LOST...

i don't know where's my escape...

he is until now my long lost friend of mine...

i know i can't turn back the time...

the yellow rose are now just memories... i know that..

those petals may have wilted but I'll carry with me these memories 'til the end of time...

no...my tears aren't worth for him... this can't be a sad ending but i mustface it... i was too innocent to know that you wanted me to tell youthat i feel the same way...

now, its OVER... Sept. 25, 2008 i'd stop crying and leave everything behind...

back

        | report story |
| comment on story |






| Love Stories | Heartache Stories | Love Quotes | Story Archive | Send Story | Message Board | Webmasters | Contact/About | Text Only | SiteMap

| Add to Yahoo | Add to Google | Add to MSN | rss feed | add to google toolbar Add Newstories to Google Toolbar |



© astorytoshare.com