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      So confused.Trying to FORGET.but it HURTS.

     


when i was in fourth grade, i met this guy named el. We were together in badminton training. When i was in fifth grade, i just then realized that i have a crush on him. We talked as friends and we tell each others crushes. I didn't tell him about what i feel about him. It was semestral break when i went to dumaguete and met his bestfriend rick and was also my training mate. We were teasing each other. we were swimming together in the pool. i just then realized that i liked him. when i went back from vacation in USA, i didn't remember rick anymore. But el was my training mate for that summer. i liked it him that time again. now, i am in sixth grade. we were training for NOPSSCEA badminton. el knew that i have a crush on him but he didn't like me. We were chatting everyday. His bestfriend rick was helping me with el. rick and i were texting everyday and he told me that he has a crush on me and i also told him. he also told me he had a crush on me when we were in dumaguete. the next day, we were very shy with each other. he told el that he likes me. so el confessed to him and said that he also likes me. el told me that night when we chatted. I loved the both of them. but i loved el more than rick. as time flies, i realized that rick really cares for me but el didn't really care about me. rick told him that he should care for me and he said ok. after several days that me and rick text each other, he asked me to be his gf. i just said i don't know because i also liked el. but he said it's okay. el confessed to rick that he loves me so much and he wanted me to b his gf. but he didn't ask me. rick just said ok ok ok. but deep inside him he's jealous. el told rick that he was also jealous with the both of us. rick started calling me. one day, a friend named rael who has a crush on me told me that el has a crush on a girl named ann. el told me that it's not true. i didn't know what to do. i just got mad at el. he was really trying to convince me that it's not true so i realized he's saying the truth.rick kept on asking me if i have other crushes then i said no.but one time, i realized i had a crush on somebody who was training with us. he knew it because i told her sister. he got mad at me cause i keep on denying that i don't have other crushes. i have this friend named ela who was rick's crush before. i keep on teasing rick to her. so rick told me ok ok i like her. but i knew he was lying. but i pretended that it was true.so that everything will be ok .he was trying to make me jealous. but i didn't. it was dismissal time that he told me it wasn't true that he likes ela. but i never heard him. until now, rick and i isn't talking to each other. i think he doesn't like me anymore but for me i think he still has a space in my heart.his father told him that he'll just forget me because it's like his the one who really wanted me and el also liked me and there's still other girls in the world. going back to el, i can feel that he still likes me. but i just wanted to forget the both of them because i don't want to get hurt and i know that they will just forget me. but it still really HURTS ME A LOT TO FORGET THEM.

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