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      My whole life's a big Ache.. Every single day...

     


It all started like any other typical teenage relationship...  We saw each other everyday, althought I was the one that was anxious to see her every day and  every hour between every class!!  Then, one day I finally got the nerve to do something...  I took piece of paper and wrote on it what I felt.. Then, after a couple of weeks I gave it to her... 



      Over the months, I got to really know her... From what she liked and disliked most... to what was her aim in life, what she feared the most etc...

     Until one day, she didn't answer any of my phone calls... Later that day, she phones telling me that het mother figured everything out... We were only 14 then and we lived in a rather stricked country... anyway, so she said that it had to end... The week after that, we stayed in contact and, of course I, couldn't let go; I was with her nearly all the time at school, I even started private lessons, that I didn't need, just to be with her... I couldn't deal with the thought that I might loose her... Eventually that year, we grew back together, we shared our first kiss, and by that time, I realised that I loved her... and I still love her.. Two years later... We still go to the same highschool, I still see her beautiful face nearly every day, I still think about her... I go to sleep thinking :will I ever get back with her, I wake up thinking :will i see her today, whenever I see a good looking girl in a movie, I always think of her, wherther I'm sad, loney, happy or even furious, she's always on my mind...



       It's been about 5 months since a last spoke to her...  The past year, we got together, split up, got back together and split up again because her father found out about us... And he's very stricked.   These days, I see her constantly with this lad, I have no idea if they're just good friends or if the they're together. But I trust her...  Everyday, I see her in front of me and I wonder what I will be like if none of her parents found out about us... , and everyday I see her in front of me, I just colapse, I just feel like I want to rip my heart out and shred it to pieces... But I would never hurt her...  And because of her, my heart is aching everyday, I sometimes hit anything I find in front of me just hoping that the pain I feel will make me forget my inner pain, and everytime, I fail... I love you ****** and I always will... If you ever read this you will understand what I truely feel...  How much I truely love you..



     Yes, I still love you...  I will always love you...      Y*****



   By Rad



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